[C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ●

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[C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby GuardianDreamer » Mon May 01, 2017 11:49 pm

Here's the link thing.

Made for the No Pressure competition, this comedy case is in the 1200-1300 frame range, though it'll probably feel shorter since a good amount of that is optional. Defend Him, Not Me! is basically me deciding to do whatever is most fun and being absolutely ridiculous. It's ultimately a comedy about a very silly accusation, a defendant's attempts to point out how quick it'd be to dismiss in court, but everyone taking much longer than they should on the "crime". With a fourth-wall breaking protagonist, a judge who goes with the flow way too much, and an incompetent prosecutor, what could possibly go wrong? The main focus is on banter and providing the player with a charming and fun experience. This case encourages you to goof off and present the badge for bonus conversations at every testimony.

As a note: It's impossible to fail this case. There's absolutely no way to be penalized. So don't worry about presenting the wrong evidence if you want to goof off. Also, this may or may not turn into a series one day depending on how I feel when I'm done with some other writing projects (most notably a certain serious trial I've left unfinished for way too long). Each case is planned to feel fairly independent of one another though, so this case should feel like a complete experience by itself. So... Enjoy? (I'm too lazy to make a nice-looking thread. If this becomes a series one day, I might bug someone for thread design help.)

Praise for DHNM:
NihilisticNinja wrote:it should stop

Tiagofvarela wrote:The English feels natural, despite most of what is said being complete rubbish

GuardianDreamer wrote:*Jumps into the nearest dumpster and rolls around in the trash*

Spoiler : Credits :
Junko for making Kiss Him, Not Me! which inspired the game's title.
Tiagofvarela for hosting the competition this was made for.
My fellow competitors in said competition and everyone involved in making their games.
NihilisticNinja for beta-testing this.
Enthalpy for using programming magic to fix the text speed when I didn't realize that using the V5 editor and then upgrading to the V6 one meant that the frames I had written in V5 were a lot slower.
DragonTrainer for making Allie and Deneb's sprites.
Tear for making Crow's sprites.
Tear and Silver Glas for making Mildred's sprites.
gotMLK7 for making Crow's sprites.
Singidava for making Duran's sprites. Here's her art thread.
Anyone who supported me along the way, even if it was just through having a short conversation with me on AAOC that made me happy.

Spoiler : Walkthrough :
Crow's testimony: Present the Flower Vase on the third statement.

Deneb's first testimony: Present the Money on either the second or third statement.

Deneb's second testimony: Present the Flower Vase on the last statement.
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Re: [C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby DWaM » Tue May 02, 2017 2:42 am

Listen to me, there's no time to explain.

DWaM doesn't exist. At least not entirely. I'm actually you. Yes, you, the person reading this. You know who you are. I've traveled back from this date to the past seven years to warn you of this day. Because I had to. Because it was super-important that you be informed. True, I mean, you would've probably found out either way. I mean, I know I did. I mean, it's like when someone tells you a spoiler and you're like "nooooo the movie's ruined" but then a few months later you go and watch the movie and the entire time the words of that sniggling bastard rings in your head, since you can FEEL that the movie is heading in the direction told you it was. Yeah. Yeah, it's kinda like that. Only I wasn't spoiled per-se. I just kinda... happened to be here when it all went down. And, I mean, look, I'm not a dick. I'm not gonna, like, show up and be like "listen on may so and so this will go down", like... spoilers?? You also, I guess, have to take into account the fact that'd probably cause a time paradox. Like, you know, how you go back in time and kill your granddad before he had your father, which in turn means your dad was never born, which means you were never born, which means you couldn't have been born to kill your grandfather which causes AWESOME? Yeah, kinda like that, except without the murder. And the AWESOME, knowing me. Or, well, you. Oh, and without the horrifying existential dread that the paradox probably was born about. I mean, killing your grand dad is pretty hardcore. I'm sure someone like Sartre wrote about it at some point. I mean for crying out loud, the dude once wrote a scene where another dude (the dude in the story that he wrote, and in which that scene in situated) touched a bus seat and was like "whooooooooooaaaaaaa reality tho???" or something like that. It wasn't in my high school curriculum. I mean, it was, but it was like - you didn't HAVE to read it? As in, it wasn't mandatory? Kinda weird that the way it basically works is they teach you "hey this guy was great, his works were super interesting, but aside from this one excerpt from this novel of which we only give you a small context for, you don't have to read it". Which is fair enough, I mean, most high school kids don't wanna be bothered with that shit, they wanna go about their daily lives jumping through flowers, in a spectacular cartoon parody (directed by the Family Guy animation staff, because the money's tight yo; then again, what if they're paid a bunch and they've realized nobody cares about the animation quality, so they're pretty much just scamming Seth McFarlane? Oh hell, who am I kidding, ol Seth boy is probably the goddamn ringleader.) Anyway, the thing you gotta realize with teenagers is that there's two kinds of em. Both of them are terrible, which is why I probably won't ever have kids. I mean, imagine being me -- which is you, by the way, you really should be taking notes -- and having a kid. Crazy, right?? And I don't mean that 'right' as in, the political right. I'm not here to ruffle any feathers my dude, I (again, that's you we're talking about) can just go to twitter and look at NN's feed for any live politics updates (I -- again, we -- that is, you -- realized that that sentence makes no sense if I am NN, so NN, I'm sorry, but you can't be me. I can still maybe be you, I guess, though. I wonder, though, if that would trigger an existential crisis all on its own. By the by, how're you dealing with that whole 'you're me' thing, anyway? Not you, NN, I was talking to the person that's actually me from the future. I mean the past, shit. Yeah, how's that working out for you? How does it feel knowing you're bound to become me? Hm? Oh, right, the thing I wanted to tell you. Well, see, on this date, I played through GD's comp entry, and I enjoyed it quite a lot. It was weird to watch the defendant's sprite floating. I would say his name, but I'm afraid it's about 2:30 AM and my thoughts are what they are, my dude. But anyway, forget the sprite thing, it's just a minor complaint and could just be that I hadn't upgraded Firefox. What's the meat and butter is right here -- my dude. Dude. My dude. Allie is GD. This isn't even a conspiracy theory. If it was, I would be the one writing it, but I'm not, GD wrote this, it says so in the trial player. Every conversation I've had with this man is this trial personified. Or trialified. [Trialfied?] It's not even Allie, it's pretty much the entirety of the case. And hell, that's not a bad thing. Despite the fact that virtually nothing makes sense -- or, hm, that's not actually fair -- things do make sense. A bit too much sometimes. Characters' line of thoughts track from one conversation topic to another quite seamlessly. Guess that's why GD got the butter during the ceremony, I suppose. It's as if you're watching a stream of consciousness unfold, with that one sane rational part of the human spirit trying to get you back into reality and failing miserably. And that's not a bad thing. I enjoyed that, but mainly because I enjoy these sorts of conversations when they happen in real life. Is this for everyone? Prooobably not, especially since a lot of comedy in general is pretty damn subjective to begin with. But for what it was, I -- remember, that's you -- enjoyed it. [Upon further examination, I've come to realize that the previous paragraph also doesn't make sense if I'm GD, so sorry GD, but you can't be me. And given that me giving praise to you would be weird if I was you, then I can't be you either. Remember, NN, that doesn't apply to you, no need to panic, you can still be me. <EDIT: Upon further examination of the previous line, I have to come to realize that I could, in fact, still be NN. {But wait, if I -- remember, again, really important, that's you -- then you are also NN. But if NN is you, and you are me, then I can not exist! Or wait, no, I can. I do. It's just that NN doesn't exist. Phew. Sorry NN, dude, tough break there.} Anyway, even if I could be NN, I'm not NN, given the fact that I clearly stated otherwise in a previous paragraph. By which I mean, this one. {Note: something current, as it turns out, cannot be previous.}> In any case, it's a shame I couldn't be GD, though. There is a distinct sense of joy and care put into these works of his, even though they might not be obvious to the people who don't know him. I enjoy them a lot personally for what they are and I think it's something one doesn't see a lot of these days. If I could give it an adjective, I guess I'd call this writing 'gentle'? If that makes sense? Well, it probably will to someone. Not to me -- remember, that's you -- so it'll probably mean something to GD. Who knows. Except I weirdly think that I might've said this before. Oh, well, who knows.] Overall, I'd say I enjoyed the trial quite a bit. Whether I recommend it or not, I wouldn't know. As I've said, it's entirely subjective to being with. It's not too long, so one can of course give it a shot. If it doesn't work for ya -- well, that sucks, but it is what it is, as I've said. All I know is that I -- remember, again, can't stress this enough -- that's you, personally enjoyed it.) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is -- I'm PewDiePie, like comment and subscribe, peace out bros. Wait, no does he say that. Screw it, I'm just gonna punch you in the face and run off. If the cops ask, it was supposed to be a brofist. With your nose. And given that I'm you, I'll probably need some plastic surgery after punching you. Which is why I probably shouldn't punch you. Except wait, you're not LITERALLY me, you're just me from the past, right? Oh, crap, but wait, if I punch you in the past and mess up your nose, then I'll end up with a messed up nose. I mean, not necessarily, but it's still a risk I can't take, given that I -- remember, that's you -- have no money. So there's only one solution.

You gotta punch me in the face.
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Re: [C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby kwando1313 » Tue May 02, 2017 3:02 am

dwam are you okay

Heshy made this sig/Opannah art~ <3 <3 Avatar made by Saruei~







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Re: [C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby NihilismFormula » Tue May 02, 2017 3:21 am

DWaM I will give you a hug if you need one.

But yeah this is a really fun case you should play it. The comedy might not be your thing- comedy is inherently subjective after all- but I'd at least give it a try personally.
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Re: [C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby cesar26100 » Sun May 07, 2017 2:04 am

I just finished this case. I have no idea where one even starts reviewing something like this, so I will just say that I enjoyed it. Would definitely play a series of this, assuming I would be able to stand all the weirdness for a longer period of time.
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Re: [C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby Enthalpy » Sun Jan 20, 2019 4:35 pm

I'm not sure what this was, but it was funny. I like it.

Inspired (if highly obscure) choice of Mildred's theme, but was the source for "078-Funny-People"?
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson

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Re: [C][CE] Defend Him, Not Me! ● 

Postby the.armenator » Fri Apr 12, 2019 3:20 am

Spoiler : Haha Things :
"Duran Garland did a bad thing and is now going to be found guilty for it. The end." This made me :calisto:
"And he'll admit to it!" "No he won't." "Damn it! Foiled again." Was her first victory against Winston Payne pretending to be a defense attorney?
"Weren't you going for villain before?" "She's a jack-of-all-trades who wants to try everything. It's truly admirable." I love that. :lol:
"How could it be a NORMAL day if you were arrested for a crime later?" HAHAHAHAHAHA
"Grr... I want you to know that I am very angry and I will have my vengeance." Hahaha. I want you to know that I am playing this case and I am laughing and I will post this comment in a reply to the thread about this case.
"You, the one playing this game... Would you like to see that later? // This isn't an actual choice, for the record. Your first gameplay interaction comes a bit later." Dammit all! Right after I made my first save at 4/11/2019, 6:30:07 PM! [Censored. Please be polite...]!
"You will never step down. This entire game is just us awkwardly staring at each other." ...Except I have no eyes, because Mildred didn't let me get a haircut. We don't like Mildred.
"How did you get here without a fadeout so quickly?!" "Walking here? It wasn't hard..." I found this funnier than I should've.
"There should be no issues with calling the detective to the stand, should there?" ...A detective investigated a broken $1.00 vase?
"What? No! Fear me! I'm very scary! I'm the anti-hero who everyone thinks is really cool!" Okay, is Mildred supposed to be Winston Payne?
"...Sorry, I'm here. I was waiting for my entrance music to play." Shit we have more than one self-aware character... Wait, more than two.
"And hey, my husband and I both agreed that one was better than the other than the other. So here we are." This is the LGBTQ+ representation Ace Attorney needs, lmao.
"Once again, we see more proof that I am the only one who can break the fourth wall. Tragic." Yes, tragic indeed, I thought Hyun and Crow were self-aware. I have been proven to be an idiot. That blows. Just like Crow, if you know what I mean.
"My memory is perfect. What I had for breakfast is... The food that I ate! Yes!" Here is the exotic Franziska von Payne, child of two prosecutors- I mean, a prosecutor and a janitor at her office.
"Whatever. It's not like I wanted to be cross-examined by you." The Ace Attorney equivalent of r/NiceGuys, everyone.
"My mistake. The first GOOD cross-examination. I will press all the things and present the badge." I love Allie. Thank you for this case.
Objection! "Don't mind me, I'm just trying to test out my immunity." Reminds me of Conflict of Interest by Ropfa on C-R: "Me! I'm competent!" "Indeed you are! Here's all your penalties back." [removes all penalties]
"Why did you run instead of taking a car with nitro boosters?" I've been laughing for over 30 seconds now. Also, I can't type now because I laughed so hard. Fghkhsjgrrf.
"I'm going to dig a hole and bury my head in it." I relate, Duran.
"The music says that I'm on the right track! Just give up already!" Mildred's upcoming response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44
"Calm down, Mildred! You can still salvage this! // Err... That doesn't mean anything! Because... I'm a badass! I'm inherently correct!" "That frame was written on April Fool's Day by the author, so you must be lying." "Damn it! I have no idea what you just said, but you sounded so confident! I'm screwed!" Best villain and protagonist, ever.
"If this somehow becomes a series, you'll be a returning character." God please.
"My name is Deneb Altair-Vega, and I'm here to testify." ...Okay, so apparently we have the Summer Triangle testifying.
No line to react to here, but I just started imagining what it would be like if a real-life judge (or especially Judge Judy) had a case where the defendant was sued for a $1 vase. That would be the funniest shit ever. Continuing now.
"She's obviously referring to this vase of flowers!" *presents badge* AHAHAHAHA (though she was actually closer than she thought)
"They're the best... Because they are." Why is Allie cross-examining the prosecutor?
"Mildred? You appear to have penalized yourself somehow." I can't stop laughing.
"Money - Type: Capitalism" But if there's only an envelope of money from Duran and $1 from Deneb exist, then don't 6,999,999,998 people fall under communism?
"You can't. This conversation ends on the next frame." "Wha-" [back to testimony] ...Congratulations, this was hilarious.
"No, not capitalism! That's the one thing more corrupt than an anti-hero like me!" I don't know why I didn't see that coming, but take this emote that can be interpreted as clapping if you so please: :gray:
"Can't I claim that's fake money?" "If I wanted to use fake money, I would've used Monopoly money." "No! The perfect counter!" Image
Interrupting to say the final CE music is awesome. Just like me, the anti-hero that never gives up!
"I've got it! Duran, rumor has it that you've been sleeping with your bed! Scandalous." ...He's been outed as a bedophile.
"Get down on your hands and knees and beg for mercy!" "Slow down. We've got to follow the T regulations. Can't get that explicit." Allie would probably call this B-T-SM.
"You're lying, damn it! And I can prove it!" Serious question: Wasn't that an actual line said by Phoenix?
"I was really bored and this sounded really fun." I love her.
"Deneb... You're gonna need a lawyer. You should hire me. We can pin it on Duran!" Sgkajsgklajlgwvasjlfhkjahfkshjkffggghhhhhhhhhhhf.

Thank you for this case, and please marry me.

Also, DWaM, are you mentally stable? I can give you a few therapists' phone numbers...
I'm working on "Athena Cykes: Ace Attorney ~ Locks on the Heart" --> viewtopic.php?f=15&t=12380&p=767720#p767720
Contact me in the ways described in the linked post if you want to help with LotH!
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