[T][C]Something Different

Find and discuss trials made by other members and showcase your own trials.

Moderators: EN - Forum Moderators, EN - Trial Reviewers

Post Reply
fanfreak247
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:45 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, Limited Spanish, Patois/Patwa
Location: Anywhere you are

[T][C]Something Different

Post by fanfreak247 »

Something Different: A Horrible Trial
Spoilers for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
This is something that I made up on the spot when I was a beginner trying out the editor . I'm actually making the concept into a real case, but that's for later I guess.
If you wanna see it here it is.
I gave it a [C] because it looks terrible while trying to take itself seriously. I hope you guys enjoy.
Last edited by fanfreak247 on Sun Aug 20, 2017 6:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
chrissyjh
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:56 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English

Re: [T][C]Something Different

Post by chrissyjh »

Looks nice, Althogh there are a few things that need to be improved I do believe they will all be taken care of once ((And if)) You make this into a idea for a case.
User avatar
drvonkitty
Posts: 567
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:25 am
Spoken languages: English

Re: [T][C]Something Different

Post by drvonkitty »

Hi there! Just wanted to drop by to give you a little bit of feedback/advice about this case.

First, I'd recommend you check out two things - the first being "AAO's Truly Comprehensive Guide for New Authors,", which is an incredibly helpful tutorial to help new trial authors get started and release their first, full-fledged new case. The second is my own "Getting Started with AAO V6,", which will help you get a better grasp of the editor, which you have a couple problem areas with right now.

I played through your case, and while it's not bad, it's definitely what I would expect from someone new to trial-making. Don't take that in a negative way, though! Trust me, my very first publicly released case was called "Turnabout Coffee," and it was terrible. Getting skilled with fancases takes time and practice, and from what you said in your post, the idea of "Something Different" is to be practice. But there's a couple problems with that:
  1. 1. Making a case solely for practice is a great idea! When I was getting started with AAO, I made practice cases, too. But practice cases are just that: practice. They're not meant for people to play through and see - they're meant to help you get a better grasp of the editor. You may be the only person who ever sees that case, and that's okay.
  • 2. Releasing a "practice case." or indeed, any case which the author states in their post is sub-par, is just not a good idea. Practice cases, unfinished cases, and "I was just playing around" cases don't serve to do anything but to give people a negative impression of your work. They'll be less willing to view you as a serious trial author.
I understand the idea of releasing a case like that. Getting feedback can be very helpful as a fledgling trial author, and it'll help you improve immensely. But that's precisely why AAO has the Case Assistance Request Topic. If you post there asking for someone to play through a "practice" case and give you feedback, I promise you someone will do so.

Now, onto some criticisms of "Something Different," with everything I've said in mind:
Spoiler : :
1. Grammar. Every serious case/trial/whatever on AAO has to have decent grammar. I don't mean flawless grammar - I'm not even writing with perfect grammar right now - but without blatant errors. Issues like your/you're, lacking spaces after punctuation, and its/it's are distracting and prevent your case from being taken seriously.
2. Pacing. This one is a bit more advanced, but the pacing in "Something Different" feels off. Go back and play through AA-1 again, or a similar case. Notice how the case flows and feels to play. The case is introduced often times with some sort of introduction - the introduction serves to create tension, and leave the player interested in how that tension will play out. Then,
the courtroom lobby scene - the AA games use these as a prelude for the trial. Here we're introduced to characters, we learn of the basic plot points, and get a feeling for what sort of case we're up against. And so on and so forth - the entire case is paced to make progression feel natural and smooth. In your case, however, the pacing is off. We rush through the beginning and into the trial, and in no time we've already gotten to the first testimony. The player feels disoriented, rushed, and confused. Fixing pacing is not easy - it takes a solid understanding of how AA cases progress. Play through the first case of a couple AA games. Look at how they're paced. Pay attention to how much time each game spends on what, and how they use timing and mystery to create an intriguing story.
3. Presentation. This one sort of ties into grammar, but the presentation of your case was lacking. The standards of presentation for a good case are pretty high on AAO, here's definitely some things that are just expected of every case, no matter how simple.
  • Centered text. Location time stamps and testimony names should be centered. These shouldn't have flashes or shakes in them.
  • Sound effects, flashes, and shakes in appropriate places. If a character is shouting, then a sound effect such as "Shouting" or "anger" is almost universally expected. Flashes and shakes should be used to amplify this effect.
  • Proper grammar. See item #1.
  • Character's voices and nametags. If a character is speaking, they should use the appropriate gender blips, and their dialogue should have a nametag. (Several of your cross-examinations did not have correct voices/nametags.)
  • General AA presentation. Things like correct timing on pop-ups, music stopping on Objections and continuing into press conversations, etc.
Those are just a few things I noted while playing through your case. While I know that you don't intend this to be a "proper" fancase, I want you to think about a couple of the things I've mentioned, and read through those guides. You have a compelling idea here (a role reversal between Mia and Maya, time travel, etc.), but "Something Different" doesn't do that idea justice. With some practice and effort though, I believe you definitely have potential!

Best of luck!
Image

Image
fanfreak247
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:45 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, Limited Spanish, Patois/Patwa
Location: Anywhere you are

Re: [T][C]Something Different

Post by fanfreak247 »

Yeah, I seem to have been misunderstood due to my horrible grammar. I'm experienced with the editor and more experienced in trial writing than I was once when I made that case. I was just sharing that case because I thought it'd be funny.

But yes you're right, maybe releasing cases like that would give a negative impression. I'll think about everything you've said in the future because this comment is indeed helpful, and gives me hope. Thanks drvonkitty.
Post Reply