Tiagofvarela wrote:I actually, genuinely forgot about this. I have three other half done cases that are taking up my attention, I suppose.There you have it. Should've replied to most things. Assuming you have no issues with my fixes and solutions, all bar the things that require art should be done.Bad Player wrote:Spoiler : QA :Well, here we are...
Our protagonist has indomitable bad luck, which this time takes the form of... finding a bloody knife in the local library and promptly getting arrested for murder. This seems like it should be a straightforward case (especially since we don't even know of a victim), and in many ways, it is. The scenario sounds a bit plain, but with a tight, well-written cast, solid contradictions, and increasing trickiness, the case stays entertaining the whole way through.
Here's a stream of consciousness, cuz I'm too lazy to split it out into different sections (also I didn't get frame numbers for everything):
837: You don’t need two dashes. Delete the one on the second line.
Done.
501: Not grammatical; rephrase
"Was carrying the murder weapon all the witness saw me do?" -> "Secondly.[#200] The witness saw me carrying the murder weapon. [#100][#100]
That is all that was witnessed?"
446: 1 -> !
Hahaha. Fixed.
1372: deductible -> deducible
Do your taxes.
Fixed.
you mean insurance?
1576: Instead of making the lifebar flash here, you should make it flash after selecting the paragraph (since the place with the penalty isn’t the paragraph you pick, but whether you push harder or not)
This will force me to add the flashing to each individual question rather than just once, but it can be done.
In theory it's working there, but it might've broken everything because there were a few redirects there in the middle of it.
If it wasn't going to be a lot of pointless effort I wouldn't make you do it
In the Yellow Book evidence description you need a space in “Ms. Cellar”
Fixed.
2132: Delete “have” and “on”
Though I prefer Randall to sound clunky in his speech, the tenses were messed up here and the sentence was ungrammatical as a consequence.
Fixed.
Awkward is one thing and ungrammatical is another, so...
At the beginning of the trial you use “co-council” instead of “co-counsel”
Fixed.
During Wallbreak’s court intro sequence, the lifebar never stops flashing
Ugh. This. I thought I fixed that, but the paths to get to that point are varied enough that I actually hadn't. Uh, I've forcibly fixed it now, even if it doesn't disappear at the most elegant moment. I don't even care.
In Wallbreak’s (first) testimony:If you say you want to call Robert Life, Beth shouldn’t say “We’ll need to call Mr. Life, too.”
- After presenting the Autopsy Report, the press conversation shouldn’t just repeat itself
At no point is the Autopsy Report presented here, so I'll assume you are referring to the Traces of Blood evidence, which has the same image.
Added a mention of the lack of blood.- After presenting the Epilepsy Medication, presenting the Epilepsy Medication again shouldn’t give a generic penalty convo (and probably shouldn’t give a penalty at all)
I hate the idea of making conversations for Randall repeating himself, as that doesn't quite fit with my image of him, but I will not go out of my way to confuse players if I don't have to.
Added a conversation for it.
I also added one for the Traces of Blood evidence. The rest either cannot be presented again or the game mentioned they shouldn't be, so they give a generic penalty.
It doesn't even need to be a penalty, or Randy talking. It can just be him thinking to himself, going over what was said during the initial present.- You should only be able/need to present Safely once
I honestly never even considered this one this statement being resolved before the others.
Fixed.
ACE HOBO- There should be something that says/implies Wallbreak didn’t see the knife, since I think simply not mentioning it doesn’t necessarily imply he didn’t see it (especially in his testimony), and even if the knife had been there its omission from the testimony is natural because it is a well-established scientific fact that it is impossible to see a knife in the dark
You think anybody here knows any science? They're all as stupid as I am!
As you may have noticed, this entire testimony, like the ones before it, is not traditional and relies on gimmicks. In order to clarify this particular statement, I have altered the question to be like this:
"The picture of the scene you have presented is incomplete. This evidence is of some import:"
Maybe this feels a bit weird for the player, but it works with what Randall is actually saying. It's just a bit redundant. Nevertheless, I can change this.
Added conditional for the case in which you started the argument by mentioning Mr. Life.
If Wallbreak is supposed to be at the prosecutor’s bench, the background should be flipped.
I sure do love extra work doing things that have never been established in the actual games. Ah well. To be consistent with the courtroom interior some kind of inversion would've been necessary.
Done.
i love it too
3532: Remove the second hyphen
Done.
3598: You should probably mark Safely’s location on the map.
I hate that you're so right. I'll try and do it with a pop-up if I can. Should make it easier.
Done.
3664: you misspelled your own protagonist’s name smh
That was the judge!1!
Fixed.
it was you smh
If Beth chooses to go over the footage again, you shouldn’t get the Yes/No question of whether you want to hear the explanation… You should just hear it.
I know, but all these small things you keep pointing out saved me minutes of frustration. I swear.
With a bit of thinking, I figured out a way to do this that doesn't require me redoing all frame redirects.
Done.
you already have twelve thousands variables in your game, what's twelve thousand and one
3785: you can’t use british spellings all game then plead the fifth smh
I figured this would've been better than switching between spellings for Randall and everyone else. He's British, did you know? He's just living in Japanifornia and knows the law.
Giving just Randy British spellings actually would've been amazing
3591/4092: Shouldn’t Theresa be there?
You mean 3951, I guess? Anyway, doing that courtroom minisprite is very difficult for me. I'll look into it again.
Nope. The minisprite doesn't exist and I can't do it, so you'll have to put up with it. If it's that big of a problem I'll just remove the frames with the courtroom overview.
Also Prologue notes:
-Gretta's namebox says "Gretta" even though she doesn't introduce herself
Fixed.
-The main trial seems to have a lot more polish in terms of SFX and fades than the prologue
Well, it was missing the spinning cane sound effect, for one!
But I think it feels this way because Randall undertakes a lot of actions in silence. Without anyone else to comment on them, the only way I can represent them is with *sound effects*.
I've mostly replaced those with sounds or comments after the fact that clarify what happened.
the spinning sfx was a big one, yes
-Randy seems uncharacteristically rude in the library. I get (and really like) his "he says things that sound really rude but he doesn't actually intend any offense because he's just that dense" shtick, but here it just seems rude.
Definitely true. I did a pass to make him less so, but there's no way I can fix this problem without removing some of the more colourful language. Alas. To the bin it goes.
He should now still sound like something of an arsehole, but doesn't specifically use insults. His sentences are insulting, but don't have insults in them. That's the proper Randall way.
i thought it might be something like this. hooray.
Originally, the trial was supposed to work without the prologue. The only reason I even kept it was to reduce confusion to the player about the events at the library, to introduce Randall and Theresa, and to foreshadow the medication and sleepwalking.
To be quite honest, I'd prefer to just get rid of it, but I shouldn't. I also agree that Randall was worse in the Prologue because his personality was rewritten a bit between the two. He was supposed to use harsher language outside of court originally, but that ended up not making much sense with the final product.
Anyway.
Good job on the case! The game has a simple premise and never gets too caught up in itself, but says fun with solid contradictions and an entertaining cast. The core cast is really funny, and the Randy/Theresa/Gretta dynamic is awesome. Out of the main characters, Beth feels a little flat, since his classical composers shtick feels a bit tacked on and never amounts to much. (Because it is tacked on!) But his persistence definitely becomes apparent as the trial comes out, and pulls through in the end in a big way. The witnesses have just the right amount of eccentricity for one-off witnesses, with Wallbreak and Robert being the stand-outs. I think you did an especially great job matching the character with the sprite set for Robert, since the existence of breakdown/reveal sprites in the canon sprite sets can serve as a potential spoiler, but you took that and flipped it on its head.
Just according to keikaku
The technical aspects of the case were all top-notch. You picked out high-quality sprite sets, and used music and sfx at appropriate places. You also put in a ton of effort into adding mini-branches to the trial, which gives a lot of leeway to the player in how they approach the case and helps prevent "right idea wrong evidence" frustration. (Of course, by going out to do this yourself, you open yourself up to requests to add even more mini-branches... but I think there were only a few places where I wanted you to add them, so good job.)
I think requests to add more things are good. Since they don't affect the pace and they're fragmented, they can be done any time. That means that, although I might not have it in me to do them all at once, I can just come back and add them in a few months or something. So, if you want things added, just say so!
Most of the things you pointed out here were things I gave up on when I was writing it, but now I'm fine with doing them since I had time away from it to rest.
As for the plot... There's a fair amount to unpack. First, "the answer was in the security footage the whole time lol" could very easily be a disappointing resolution to a case, but you put in the work to explain why they didn't just find it there, so good job on that. The mystery kind of peters out at the end, but it remains steady until then, plus you lampshade this and the case transitions to more of a story-focus, so it's all fine. As for the story... boy, this is not the case for people who like closure. I get what you were trying to do, and it was totally fine the was was a relatively simple, relatively straightforward, not-epic (not in a bad sense, just that it isn't one of those "epic" cases), plain ol' fun cases for the vast majority of the playtime, but the end felt like it would've felt more at home on an "epic" case. The twist that, since this is all just a retelling by Wallbreak, he obviously couldn't have known what Randy was thinking and the thoughts were just made up, was a fun idea, but... doesn't feel like it changed much. (And I've just figured out why. I'll continue in a second.) All Randy's thoughts really did was recontextualize the rude things he said, so if you take that away he changes from a well-meaning but incredibly socially awkward guy into a rude guy. But the ending already potentially turns him into a cold-blooded murderer and the blue text twist doesn't have any effect on the actual plot, which takes away a lot of the impact a twist of this type could have. That being said, the fact that the case is of a reasonable length and isn't overly complex makes it a lot easier to both build and comprehend the twist, so I suppose there's that.
One thing that wasn't made clear was that the prologue was also made up! Wallbreak wasn't there for it, though he was present for court. I forgot to make this clear, but I'm kind of afraid to go through with it since just mentioning the 'blue text' is much simpler.
Added the following statements from Wallbreak after mentioning the blue text is made up:
"Indeed, I'm only really sure of what happened at court. The things at his house? At the library in the morning? No idea! Those are just what he told me. Sorry to disappoint, but I only witnessed the events on the night of the crime and at the courtroom."
Also, the twist removes all the blue text... but that would leave the "Randy's thoughts" evidence in place, wouldn't it? According to that, Randy fighting the knife was just a coincidence, which strongly cuts against the guilty Randy route. Since the ending otherwise seems so ambiguous, I can't tell if the innocent Randy is the canon end/truth and this is a small nod to that, or if it's some sort of 'plot-hole'.
I don't get what the problem here is or what you're pointing out. Everything Randall claims can obviously be a lie, which is also why the Prologue was supposed to be cast into doubt as well, but that was less clear.
So is the stuff written in "Randy's Memories" a lie as well? Or rather, not necessarily Randy's true memories? (Based on what you've said, I'm going to assume the answer is 'yes'.) But "Randy's Memories" are neither blue text nor in the prologue--so it's not clear that Wallbreak just made them up. (Or rather, just took what Randy claimed his memories were without narrative confirmation that those were his actual memories.) I'd add a line clarifying this point as well. "Naturally, I have no idea if "Randy's Memories" are what he truly experienced that day!"
I'm also kind of curious whether the person in orange at the end was set up by Randy, or if that was a coincidence. After all, the way that whole segment opens was "Randy was falsely set up, and golly, a whole lot of coincidences led to his arrest! But that's all been straightened out now" "OBJECTION! No, he is guilty... And those weren't coincidences, he planned the whole thing!", but if Randy was acquitted just because another guy in orange happened to be there, that wouldn't really fit.
Assuming Randall is guilty, Randall allowed the court to reach that point BECAUSE he saw a guy in orange there; but he didn't plant him. Pointing that guy out would solidify his Not Guilty, but he was nervous about/failed to initially notice the hand.
Also, a small nitpick in the plot: if Theresa lost her phone in the early early morning on the 20th, shouldn't she have noticed before the morning of the 21st that her phone was totally missing?
Uh, she stayed behind to look for her phone (and never found it) and that's why she ended up witnessing the events that night. What gave you the impression she was unaware she'd lost it? She become immediately suspicious of Wallbreak when she meets him because of it.
When she receives the phone, she says "I... I must have..."; maybe this is what misled you, so I've changed it to "He... He must have...".
oh, i thought if she had realized she had lost her phone way before she arrived at court, she would've just totally called out Wallbreak right then and there
But anyway. On the whole, this case is really solid, with effort and attention to detail clearly visible throughout the case. I know I spent a lot of words pulling apart the twists and endings, but that's just going into the nitty-gritty for the sake of examining everything that could conceivably have been improved. The vast majority of the case is a fun, light-hearted mystery, and the end is... Well, I myself am one of those people that really really like closure, so I really wanted an explicit "true end". But it for the most part does what it sets out to do, so I can't really fault you for that.
I really felt like the theme was asking for it. What is a more terrible, wicked narrator than one that asks you to finish the story for him?
That's what I felt about a 300 page book I once read, anyway >:(
so yeah. gj. you get a gold star.
EDIT: And now I've added the indicator for where the witness was on the diagram.
[T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ★
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- Bad Player
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ☆
Redddd
Tiagofvarela wrote:I actually, genuinely forgot about this. I have three other half done cases that are taking up my attention, I suppose.There you have it. Should've replied to most things. Assuming you have no issues with my fixes and solutions, all bar the things that require art should be done.Bad Player wrote:Spoiler : QA :
EDIT: And now I've added the indicator for where the witness was on the diagram.
- Tiagofvarela
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ☆
Underlined!
Bad Player wrote:ReddddTiagofvarela wrote:I actually, genuinely forgot about this. I have three other half done cases that are taking up my attention, I suppose.There you have it. Should've replied to most things. Assuming you have no issues with my fixes and solutions, all bar the things that require art should be done.Bad Player wrote:Spoiler : QA :
EDIT: And now I've added the indicator for where the witness was on the diagram.
A Laggy Turnabout ★
A Batty Turnabout ★
A Tricky Turnabout ★
Upcoming: A Worldly Turnabout, A Courtly Turnabout, A Clumsy Turnabout, A Needy Turnabout
A Batty Turnabout ★
A Tricky Turnabout ★
Upcoming: A Worldly Turnabout, A Courtly Turnabout, A Clumsy Turnabout, A Needy Turnabout
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ☆
Spoiler : Prologue SoC :
Spoiler : Trial SoC :
Spoiler : Final thoughts :
- Bad Player
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ★
Hmmm.... Nope, can't think of any more minor yet annoying things to make you fix. Darn, guess I can't put it off any longer.
★ The QA inspection is complete. This case is now featured. Congratulations!
★ The QA inspection is complete. This case is now featured. Congratulations!
- Tiagofvarela
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ☆
yayBad Player wrote:Hmmm.... Nope, can't think of any more minor yet annoying things to make you fix. Darn, guess I can't put it off any longer.
★ The QA inspection is complete. This case is now featured. Congratulations!
I have boldly replied.Nicky Boy wrote:Spoiler : Prologue SoC :Spoiler : Trial SoC :Overall, it was a really enjoyable case!Spoiler : Final thoughts :
A Laggy Turnabout ★
A Batty Turnabout ★
A Tricky Turnabout ★
Upcoming: A Worldly Turnabout, A Courtly Turnabout, A Clumsy Turnabout, A Needy Turnabout
A Batty Turnabout ★
A Tricky Turnabout ★
Upcoming: A Worldly Turnabout, A Courtly Turnabout, A Clumsy Turnabout, A Needy Turnabout
- Nicky Boy
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ★
I have replied in orange and removed anything you didn't reply to because it's the logical thing to doTiagofvarela wrote:I have boldly replied.Nicky Boy wrote:Spoiler : Prologue SoC :Spoiler : Trial SoC :Spoiler : Final thoughts :
- Tiagofvarela
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ★
I have replied thusly, and did remove thine sentences, when reply to them I did not.Nicky Boy wrote:I have replied in orange and removed anything you didn't reply to because it's the logical thing to doTiagofvarela wrote:I have boldly replied.Nicky Boy wrote:Spoiler : Prologue SoC :Spoiler : Trial SoC :
A Laggy Turnabout ★
A Batty Turnabout ★
A Tricky Turnabout ★
Upcoming: A Worldly Turnabout, A Courtly Turnabout, A Clumsy Turnabout, A Needy Turnabout
A Batty Turnabout ★
A Tricky Turnabout ★
Upcoming: A Worldly Turnabout, A Courtly Turnabout, A Clumsy Turnabout, A Needy Turnabout
- Nicky Boy
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Re: [T][CE] A Tricky Turnabout ★
My replies existTiagofvarela wrote:I have replied thusly, and did remove thine sentences, when reply to them I did not.Nicky Boy wrote:Spoiler : Trial SoC :
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