[T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

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Salamence
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[T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

Entry for The Lawpocolypse contest.

The earth is falling into chaos. Everything is being destroyed. In the middle of the destruction, a certain homicide draws a lawyer's attention...

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Click image to play!
Warning: This ends suddenly, as it is quite incomplete.
Spoiler : Credits :
Sprites:
Maya Fey: Aer
Phoenix Wright: Hesseldahl
Peter Vergan: Silver Glas
Samuel Bryne: Lind
Judge: Tap + gotMLK7
Lobby with flickering light: spybreak001
Knife: Gizmological

Music:
Intro: Sadness Piano Song - "Alone In The Dark" Music by Vadim Kiselev
Lobby: Virtue's Last Reward ~ Placidity
Prelude to the trial: Virtue's Last Reward ~ Treatment
Court Begins: Ace Attorney | Court Begins ~ Keepers of the Order (Custom) [2.0] by Broocevelt
Cross Examination Moderato: Virtue's Last Reward ~ Demise
Last edited by Salamence on Wed Apr 15, 2020 7:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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DJJ6800
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by DJJ6800 »

Whoa. This is pretty good. I dare say I might just lose this competition.
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Salamence
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

Awww, thanks dude. I'm sure you'll do great though.
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Salamence
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

so basically this is dead
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Salamence
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[T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○ (repost)

Post by Salamence »

So, this is a project I thought I gave up on, but I think I'm going to revive it. Feedback on what I currently have will be nice, and it will also help encourage me to finish this.
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Enthalpy
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Enthalpy »

I went ahead and merged your two topics. I'll add this to the top my list of cases to play!
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Salamence
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

I take it reposts aren't allowed. Good to know. And I hope you enjoy!
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Alan Bernard
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Alan Bernard »

Spoiler : Spoilers for this case and Turnabout Revolution :
-Kristoph is the Defendant and has been accused of murder.
-Apollo is a key character in this case.
-A character working at the WAA has been killed.
-There's a different Judge on the stand.
-There's something called 'The Revolution'.
-The courtroom was bombed (in TRev, it was threatened to be bombed).

Please give us a killer fight similar to the fantastic and sadly, unfinished one between Phoenix Wright and Billy Peppers, the longest fight that never was, so that I can finally have some closure due to the sadly never-finished Phase 4.
There are just too many coincidences here for it not to have the same potential as the case below, from what I've seen.
http://www.aaonline.fr/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=7959

As for some feedback,
Spoiler : Spoilers for this case :
Apollo bringing in a third party this early into the case feels a bit rushed, as well as the first witness' testimony/contradiction and the general crime itself (as it appears to be a relatively simple stabbing with no tricks). Some of the sentences feel shorter than what I'm used to, too, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Overall, though, the concept is intriguing (especially with defending Krisotph) and I like the idea of there being an ongoing revolution, as well as Wright being the victim.
Last edited by Enthalpy on Thu Apr 23, 2020 12:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Spoiler tags
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Enthalpy
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Enthalpy »

I've added spoiler tags to your post. Please add them yourself any time something you want to say spoils an AAO case. Not everybody else has played those!
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
Alan Bernard
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Alan Bernard »

Ah, sorry about that!
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Salamence
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

Spoiler : response :
Well I kinda wanted to go for a more simple crime, since I don't feel comfortable with doing anything too complex for my first case. I wanted to focus more on the characters for this case. Also, I've never played Turnabout Revolution. But I'm guessing all the similarities come from both authors wanting to make a more "edgy" case. As for the dialogue... well, some of the later parts I wrote more recently, and I feel I'm not as good as writing dialogue now as I was when I initially started this project. And I hope to have the "Killer fight" to be not as rushed as everything else so far.
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Enthalpy
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Enthalpy »

I finished playing through this. Is there anything in particular that you want my opinion on?
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Salamence
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

Just a general summary and your thoughts is fine.
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Enthalpy
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Enthalpy »

Miscellaneous notes are below. I like this trial, and I'm interested to see where it goes.
Spoiler : :
* First, the presentation and custom assets are really good. It makes the case feel new and exciting on a first playthrough. Even the PW Office edit worked out well. How did you do that?
* The introduction did feel overly edgy to me, but you've mentioned that you're already aware of that, so I won't elaborate.
* Is there a reason why you make "important text" be red rather than orange, like the canon games? It was a distracting detail.
* Your Kristoph writing is pretty close, but it's a bit off. Kristoph should be more professional, less sarcastic. This seems especially off in his banter with the judge and the Maya. For example, him saying Maya calling the next witness is "Splendid!" or protesting that he's only killed two people. While he will see he's an evil man in-canon, it's less gleeful and more professional. Once you fix that, this will be a very good Kristoph.
* The Maya Fey writing doesn't match the canon Maya, but again, I assume you already knew that. I will say that right now, I don't think much would change if you replaced Maya with any other prosecutor. If anything, I'm confused how and why she became a prosecutor.
* Apollo doesn't react as much as I'd expect to Phoenix's death. Normally, I'd suggest you have him react more to it, but with an apocalyptic setting, it makes sense. It helps to sell the setting.
* Did Samuel and Apollo only meet once? I like the fact that the two know each other, but Samuel seems overly familiar if they only met once, like Apollo implies before the testimony. He may be the overly familiar type, but then I would have thought Apollo would point that out.
* I'd put a note about how the time of death was determined in the audience. It's unusual for the autopsy report to include witness testimony in the time of death estimate.
* The dialogue with Peter about being a Revolutionary ends unusually quickly. Have you considered either lengthening the conversation or turning it into mostly one of Apollo's inner monologues? I think that would be more natural. Personally, I'd like more information about this setting.
* I'm a little confused about the range for why the "third party" was. None of the accepted range seems close enough to stab Wright with, and if Wright is facing Kristoph, it doesn't seem to line up with where Wright's back would be. Maybe I'm mistaken on this?
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Salamence
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Re: [T] [CE] Turnabout To Nothing ○

Post by Salamence »

Spoiler : response :
For the office, I just stacked a bunch of filters that are built into whatever picture program windows 10 computers have. I made the important text red, because I thought it looked better. As for Kristoph, well, I imagine years in solitary can change you... so I tried to keep the feel of his character while making it more fun to write. As for Maya, I just thought it would be cool to have her be the prosecutor. And as to how she became one? well, I should probably have some dialogue explaining this... but here's some info on the world. Since the law is in shambles, you don't really need any license to prosecute a case currently. Lots of local prosecutors are dead. And Samuel is a character I used in my previous unfinished case, and I decided to re-use him. Between now and when I initially started this case, I've took a forensics class, so I realize using wittiness testimony for the TOD isn't something that's done. So I'm gonna either have to change it, or just muck it up to "the law is in shambles" again. And yeah, I should include more dialogue on the revolutionaries. All the dialogue about the third party is pretty recent, and I'm probably going to redo that. They're supposed to be behind the couch, and it is possible to lean over it to stab someone...
Thanks for the feedback, it looks like I need to work more on worldbuilding.
I also used to be better at writing dialogue...

also, here's something I noticed.
Spoiler : :
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