Spoiler : Running commentary :
- Not deleting the skip intro, shame. Shame on both of your houses.
- Isaac Guard 2012
- Interesting intro. Expert timing on it, but a strange song for a murder case… I liked it, however.
- Also, nice use of your avatar there, Mu.
- Man, I forgot how loud sound effects were in AAO.
- I like the idea of Apollo being the one to inspire them. That's a good way to take his character.
- So, I have to say, from the dialogue so far, this may be the best writing I've seen in a fancase. You done good if this opening is any indication.
- REFERENCES TO OTHER GAMES
- … Mu… Ping… I love you. So much. Books will make me hate no longer.
- I would have left the music out of the Phoenix area the first time around. Would have made the transition less awkward, and silence can be golden.
- Really digging the premise here. Good job, guys.
- Huh, Mall backward bugged out first time around for me. A reload fixed it.
- So he blocked himself in with wood. Because nothing can burn wood.
- I love Peppers character. He's very fun to read.
- I love Salem's character too. Very interesting and enjoyable cast we have here.
- I like him too, Trucy. I like him too.
- Yes, Burns. I will marry you. Your words are the greatest poetry known to man.
- And I like Delia too. Not as much as her theme though. Love that theme.
- Interesting discussion with Delia. I'm excited to see how this theme will play out in the rest of the piece, and how it effects Apollo throughout.
- Annnnnnd gay joke. QUALITY =D
- OH GOD SO MANY REFERENCES HOLY CRAP
- This explains EVERYTHING. The Carr's were super rich, then were robbed. This made Willy go into gambling in hopes of making everything back. Also sets up the political ties of the family.
- … Might steal this a little bit…
- Interesting ending, but it did get a little weird at the end. It "To be continued" then went to the final scene, then one more "to be continued." May have been intentional to mislead players, but the screen kinda skipped around a bit for me, so it was off-putting.
- Isaac Guard 2012
- Interesting intro. Expert timing on it, but a strange song for a murder case… I liked it, however.
- Also, nice use of your avatar there, Mu.
- Man, I forgot how loud sound effects were in AAO.
- I like the idea of Apollo being the one to inspire them. That's a good way to take his character.
- So, I have to say, from the dialogue so far, this may be the best writing I've seen in a fancase. You done good if this opening is any indication.
- REFERENCES TO OTHER GAMES
- … Mu… Ping… I love you. So much. Books will make me hate no longer.
- I would have left the music out of the Phoenix area the first time around. Would have made the transition less awkward, and silence can be golden.
- Really digging the premise here. Good job, guys.
- Huh, Mall backward bugged out first time around for me. A reload fixed it.
- So he blocked himself in with wood. Because nothing can burn wood.
- I love Peppers character. He's very fun to read.
- I love Salem's character too. Very interesting and enjoyable cast we have here.
- I like him too, Trucy. I like him too.
- Yes, Burns. I will marry you. Your words are the greatest poetry known to man.
- And I like Delia too. Not as much as her theme though. Love that theme.
- Interesting discussion with Delia. I'm excited to see how this theme will play out in the rest of the piece, and how it effects Apollo throughout.
- Annnnnnd gay joke. QUALITY =D
- OH GOD SO MANY REFERENCES HOLY CRAP
- This explains EVERYTHING. The Carr's were super rich, then were robbed. This made Willy go into gambling in hopes of making everything back. Also sets up the political ties of the family.
- … Might steal this a little bit…
- Interesting ending, but it did get a little weird at the end. It "To be continued" then went to the final scene, then one more "to be continued." May have been intentional to mislead players, but the screen kinda skipped around a bit for me, so it was off-putting.
Spoiler : Final Report :
My running commentary seems a bit short to me. I decided to not try and think up witty comments, and instead focus all my miniscule brain power to fully focusing on the case itself. Not going to do theories yet, since I want more backing from Phase 2. I'm unsure of how Phase 2 will play out, as I can see it containing some investigation instead of just cutting off to trial straight away. But that may just be my love for investigations slipping in. Anyways, I do want to make some comments in text wall form because of the lacklustre running commentary.
First off, I absolutely love the pacing of this part. Nothing felt like it dragged too long, and I would have to say that very little felt like it went too short. If anything, I think the ending probably felt the least paced, simply because of the lack of visuals. But alas, not much which could have prevented that. Overall, everything took its time very nicely and kept immersion in the case very high. While references to other works where present, they were not overwhelming, nor immersion breaking. They were nice little easter eggs that add a layer to the enjoyment if you know what they're mentioning. Great execution of them.
The characters, the most important part of a story IMO, were amazing. The canon characters were firmly in-character, aside from a few minor things like the addition of swear words to Apollo's diction. But, you know how I like adding me some language into cases. Apollo and Trucy had a great sense of chemistry that really cement the brother-sister relationship. However, it doesn't hammer it into our faces like other cases. It makes the knowledge of the relationship known, and leaves, letting players see it with their own two eyes instead of having them constantly going "HEY BRO! OH HEY SIS!" Nice use of subtlety and "show, don't tell" with them. Klavier… could have possibly used more German, but I may just be disillusioned by JM. Good job on him, none the less. Ema was very perky, as she should be, though I thought we could see a little more grump. Kristoph, I'm saving a whole note for. Overall, nice work with each character. You managed to get their character down while missing little, and what was missed was minor.
The OCs are, as you can tell from my notes above, something I enjoyed greatly. Each one had a strong personality and gave off the feel of being nicely rounded characters instead of just words on a screen.
Billy Peppers manages to topple my fears of him potentially just being a big Beatles joke. Each aspect of his character adds something more to him, and makes him feel real. He isn't just "Hey, that's a song!" He is a true person in the TRev world. He is a talented musician, as well as a war veteran. He has ties to previous characters, and a strong set of beliefs which he abides by. In fact, I would say that Peppers may be the greatest example of how strong the OCs are in this case, by virtue of being the first we see. As we talk about Pepper's role in history, we see that he has a lasting impact on the world. Seemingly off-hand things are given just enough screentime for us to grasp them and incorporate them into our view of the character. We see that he has strong regards for integrity and respect for his work. He stands by what he believes in, and will never step down from a fight presented to him. He is a knowledgeable and respectable man, who could either serve as our best friend or worst nightmare in this case. Everything about him oozes style, and a strong head resting on his two shoulders. I can outright say that I'm biased towards Peppers, however. His speech about respecting his work and making sure nothing got in the way of it resonates with me quite strongly, and he won me over the first second he mentioned leaving the Gavinners due to creative differences. In a weak character(or a purposely designed super-hipster) that would come off as, well, hipster "fight the man" babble. But with Peppers, that comes out as sheer respect for his work and creative difference from Klavier and the rest of the band. Or I'm just a super hipster and am blind to it. Who knows.
Ed Salem's seemingly split-personality is an interesting character trait, and fits the flimflam man look of his sprites extremely well. His energetic persona, and the music that comes along with it, provide a great conman feel from the character and make him extremely fun to read. The speed of his talking matches the design of the character, as all old school conmen seem to have a habit of running words by you so fast, that you can't even comprehend a word they're saying and just making you say yes to whatever they're selling. This is topped off quite well with the abrupt transitions to the slow paced, rage filled second person that lives in his head. This acts as a strong contrast to the almost lyrical vibe Happy!Salem gives with the destructive bursts of anger. They're too completely different people, who alone would get old, but compliment each other perfectly and ensure that reading the character never gets old. Him stealing 50k from my OCs and get away with it also makes him a perfect conman.
Murray Burns… is quite the enigma. His design screams "mystery" and everything about the character seems to match that. While the eyes are the window the soul, seeing only the window, and not the frame surrounding it makes me quite unsettled. Seeing his eyes, and nothing but his eyes, wrapped up in a long trenchcoat and fedora makes him quite the mystery right off the bat with a strong visual impression. Amazing use of sprites right there. The first words we, indirectly, hear from Burn's are a great indication of the ride we're about to head out on, and Burn's serves as the turning point in the game. Burns is the first point where the case gets weeeeeird, and not just with his codeword deal. His paranoia and fear accompany his knowledge into a great framework that truly sets up Justice in an amazing light. He takes the facts of the case and turns them on their head. While most cases gives a less than satisfactory approach with their initial theory for how the crime ran down, Burn's "confession" is something that I would be satisfied with if I was presented with it at the end of the case. The inclusion of heavy paranoia and conspiracy only adds to that in a way that truly sets up the case to be something great.
Cordelia VeLind, the owner of the best theme in this game. As well as the presenter of, what appears to be, the big themes of the game. Delia is not just a fun character to read, but the presenter of the question of "Do the ends justify the means." A popular theme for murder mysteries with a heavy story focus, I'm sure. She raises questions and makes the player, and Apollo, THINK. Can't say much as the theme hasn't been fully wrapped up, and I'd rather save all my gushing for when I can take a look at the big picture. She's fun though, and is a very good way of presenting the theme of the case.
Finally, Kristoph Gavin. Now, this will largely be theoretical compliments. Kristoph serves as a great moral trigger for Apollo, a great framing device in the mystery of the case, and an expert deception trigger. Much like most cases, TRev starts out as a slice of life and then breaks down into a more intense tale with the revelation of something deeper. But what most cases don't have is Kristoph, a character whom has been built up for an entire game prior to release. And if they do, they lack him playing an actual role. Kristoph only appears three times in the entire part, but each of those three times are solidly the most memorable parts of their respective acts. Beginning, middle, end. Each involves an appearance from Kristoph, and each is done amazingly. Beginning sets up Kristoph as a serious threat and villain to Apollo, a man who he cannot stand and yet, once loved. Middle throws him into Apollo's life once more, only to be greeted with a polite smile and a casual sense of presentation. Ending… well, I don't need to say WHY that's memorable. Kristoph is never physically involved in any part of the case for… I'd say 15 frames. And yet, he's the biggest mark of the case. He is what sticks out, even though everything about him is left in the dark. Is he the criminal? Is he even involved? Why is he doing what he's doing? Nothing is given, and yet there is a serious sense of completeness in just SEEING Kristoph again. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
And that's an essay on the first part of what is sure to be an amazing case. Don't want to go into toooooo much depth, because I need to save something for my final report… which will probably actually be a real essay. So yeah, good job.
First off, I absolutely love the pacing of this part. Nothing felt like it dragged too long, and I would have to say that very little felt like it went too short. If anything, I think the ending probably felt the least paced, simply because of the lack of visuals. But alas, not much which could have prevented that. Overall, everything took its time very nicely and kept immersion in the case very high. While references to other works where present, they were not overwhelming, nor immersion breaking. They were nice little easter eggs that add a layer to the enjoyment if you know what they're mentioning. Great execution of them.
The characters, the most important part of a story IMO, were amazing. The canon characters were firmly in-character, aside from a few minor things like the addition of swear words to Apollo's diction. But, you know how I like adding me some language into cases. Apollo and Trucy had a great sense of chemistry that really cement the brother-sister relationship. However, it doesn't hammer it into our faces like other cases. It makes the knowledge of the relationship known, and leaves, letting players see it with their own two eyes instead of having them constantly going "HEY BRO! OH HEY SIS!" Nice use of subtlety and "show, don't tell" with them. Klavier… could have possibly used more German, but I may just be disillusioned by JM. Good job on him, none the less. Ema was very perky, as she should be, though I thought we could see a little more grump. Kristoph, I'm saving a whole note for. Overall, nice work with each character. You managed to get their character down while missing little, and what was missed was minor.
The OCs are, as you can tell from my notes above, something I enjoyed greatly. Each one had a strong personality and gave off the feel of being nicely rounded characters instead of just words on a screen.
Billy Peppers manages to topple my fears of him potentially just being a big Beatles joke. Each aspect of his character adds something more to him, and makes him feel real. He isn't just "Hey, that's a song!" He is a true person in the TRev world. He is a talented musician, as well as a war veteran. He has ties to previous characters, and a strong set of beliefs which he abides by. In fact, I would say that Peppers may be the greatest example of how strong the OCs are in this case, by virtue of being the first we see. As we talk about Pepper's role in history, we see that he has a lasting impact on the world. Seemingly off-hand things are given just enough screentime for us to grasp them and incorporate them into our view of the character. We see that he has strong regards for integrity and respect for his work. He stands by what he believes in, and will never step down from a fight presented to him. He is a knowledgeable and respectable man, who could either serve as our best friend or worst nightmare in this case. Everything about him oozes style, and a strong head resting on his two shoulders. I can outright say that I'm biased towards Peppers, however. His speech about respecting his work and making sure nothing got in the way of it resonates with me quite strongly, and he won me over the first second he mentioned leaving the Gavinners due to creative differences. In a weak character(or a purposely designed super-hipster) that would come off as, well, hipster "fight the man" babble. But with Peppers, that comes out as sheer respect for his work and creative difference from Klavier and the rest of the band. Or I'm just a super hipster and am blind to it. Who knows.
Ed Salem's seemingly split-personality is an interesting character trait, and fits the flimflam man look of his sprites extremely well. His energetic persona, and the music that comes along with it, provide a great conman feel from the character and make him extremely fun to read. The speed of his talking matches the design of the character, as all old school conmen seem to have a habit of running words by you so fast, that you can't even comprehend a word they're saying and just making you say yes to whatever they're selling. This is topped off quite well with the abrupt transitions to the slow paced, rage filled second person that lives in his head. This acts as a strong contrast to the almost lyrical vibe Happy!Salem gives with the destructive bursts of anger. They're too completely different people, who alone would get old, but compliment each other perfectly and ensure that reading the character never gets old. Him stealing 50k from my OCs and get away with it also makes him a perfect conman.
Murray Burns… is quite the enigma. His design screams "mystery" and everything about the character seems to match that. While the eyes are the window the soul, seeing only the window, and not the frame surrounding it makes me quite unsettled. Seeing his eyes, and nothing but his eyes, wrapped up in a long trenchcoat and fedora makes him quite the mystery right off the bat with a strong visual impression. Amazing use of sprites right there. The first words we, indirectly, hear from Burn's are a great indication of the ride we're about to head out on, and Burn's serves as the turning point in the game. Burns is the first point where the case gets weeeeeird, and not just with his codeword deal. His paranoia and fear accompany his knowledge into a great framework that truly sets up Justice in an amazing light. He takes the facts of the case and turns them on their head. While most cases gives a less than satisfactory approach with their initial theory for how the crime ran down, Burn's "confession" is something that I would be satisfied with if I was presented with it at the end of the case. The inclusion of heavy paranoia and conspiracy only adds to that in a way that truly sets up the case to be something great.
Cordelia VeLind, the owner of the best theme in this game. As well as the presenter of, what appears to be, the big themes of the game. Delia is not just a fun character to read, but the presenter of the question of "Do the ends justify the means." A popular theme for murder mysteries with a heavy story focus, I'm sure. She raises questions and makes the player, and Apollo, THINK. Can't say much as the theme hasn't been fully wrapped up, and I'd rather save all my gushing for when I can take a look at the big picture. She's fun though, and is a very good way of presenting the theme of the case.
Finally, Kristoph Gavin. Now, this will largely be theoretical compliments. Kristoph serves as a great moral trigger for Apollo, a great framing device in the mystery of the case, and an expert deception trigger. Much like most cases, TRev starts out as a slice of life and then breaks down into a more intense tale with the revelation of something deeper. But what most cases don't have is Kristoph, a character whom has been built up for an entire game prior to release. And if they do, they lack him playing an actual role. Kristoph only appears three times in the entire part, but each of those three times are solidly the most memorable parts of their respective acts. Beginning, middle, end. Each involves an appearance from Kristoph, and each is done amazingly. Beginning sets up Kristoph as a serious threat and villain to Apollo, a man who he cannot stand and yet, once loved. Middle throws him into Apollo's life once more, only to be greeted with a polite smile and a casual sense of presentation. Ending… well, I don't need to say WHY that's memorable. Kristoph is never physically involved in any part of the case for… I'd say 15 frames. And yet, he's the biggest mark of the case. He is what sticks out, even though everything about him is left in the dark. Is he the criminal? Is he even involved? Why is he doing what he's doing? Nothing is given, and yet there is a serious sense of completeness in just SEEING Kristoph again. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
And that's an essay on the first part of what is sure to be an amazing case. Don't want to go into toooooo much depth, because I need to save something for my final report… which will probably actually be a real essay. So yeah, good job.
Level:15
Look forward to reading your commentary. Also, how long did it take you?
