Spoiler : Spoilers :
DWaM wrote:Well, it's an 'accident' in his eyes. Also, I don't seem to recall any actual mention of a head wound...
I only suggested a head wound because it was the most likely way for Larry to kill Maya accidentally in that situation. But if he murdered her, that's a whole other question.
But why use Larry, of all people? The most incompetent man in the world?The way I saw it, considering that "The Dark Age of Law" (dammit, I can't believe I'm actually trying to tie into that) was slowly starting upon them and considering that the loss was far bigger than the gain (since all the trials he was involved in over the past few years would come into question and all the potential criminals released) he did it for the "greater good".
I'm sympathetic to this, as I ran into the same exact problem in writing AtBaS. Cascade Theater pushes far enough that you could have renamed the characters, removed some background (channeling Mia), and had a mostly unrecognizable case and cast - something I may end up doing with my game.Anyway, yeah. This was more of me just putting characters into the darkest scenario possible, something they hadn't really faced before, and exploring how they would react to it (which ended up coming off as OOC, I suppose - but even if not, I guess that the reaction can be considered justified when you put characters you're familiar with and add your own stuff on top of it...)
When your writing reaches that point, why not write an original VN? If you did that, you'd need to greatly flesh out the characters, since you couldn't rely on their canon backgrounds, but that would be an improvement in CT's breathless pacing.
This isn't something I'm suggesting offhandedly - I feel as though I'd be rating this much, much more highly if all the characters had different names and sprites, and were given new backgrounds to justify it. Where do you draw the line between "AU" and "new world?" Likewise, a weakness of Turnabout Tomorrow was the way it jarred awkwardly with AA elements. I can't help but think you should be writing entirely new and original VNs. You have the skill for it, and the AA characters don't mesh at all with your style. It's holding you back from your potential.
Let me be clear: I'm not against fancases in any way! Far from it. But I am against people cramping their own style and making work that doesn't have internal unity and consistency.
(If I ever finish chapter 2 of AtBaS, feel free to copy-paste this critique, do a find/replace on the title, and post it back at me.)