The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AAO

Join in with competitions to make the best trials... with a twist!

Moderator: EN - Forum Moderators

User avatar
Blackrune
Posts: 3805
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:11 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, German, Japanese
Location: The Submarine

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Blackrune »

Another one down.
Spoiler : Whirlwind's and Evolina's entry. HEAVY SPOILERS IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT IF YOU OPEN THIS :
Turnabout Dilemma
Yeah, I can see where this is going with that title. At first I wasn't quite sure what to think of it. The prologue seemed nice enough but basically amounted to the same vague stuff as usual. Then we're thrown right into a trial that's starts like many other. Well, except for the sad state of the courtroom. Which is never even explained for some reason. I guess it's normal for the people in that world. Well, I'm still not sure what to think of the world seeing how the setting gets never really epxlained, but the rest of the case certianly seems like a lot of thought went into it. In short, the final line changed everything.
Let's see then.
Plot:
Solid. Though nothing terribly new. I didn't find any plotholes and it's easy to follow. As I said, the setting itself is never really explained. We know punishments are harsher and immediate, but aside from that it more or less feels like a normal trial with seemingly no chance of winning because the prosecutor has never been defeated etc.
The twist at the end was a surprise though. Now the title suddenly makes sense, as does some of Desmond's behaviour.
The logic made sense to me. Sure, the motive given for the defendant didn't really strike me as that convincing, but those are rarely done well anyway. The pace was... well, standard trial pace. Not wasting any time works for me.
It's a shame the whole thing had to end exactly where things seemed to take a drastic turn, but what's there is solid in its execution so far.


Characters:

To sum it up, they were... entertaining. The sprites do their part. The characters fulfill their purpose.
Though I can't say I connect anything special with the majority of them. Desmond seems to be the one interesting case. Maybe the prosecutor as well, as I'm wondering just how he ended up like that. The rest of them did their job at being funny and each one having their gimmick. Now part of this is obviously because it doesn't make sense for the witness to tell us that much about themselves instead of the crime. Well, let's see.

Desmond: As I said, the most interesting one. Most of it only happened near the end. It gets even better with that last line in this part. I mean, before that it made sense for him to care already, but sometimes it just felt like he panicked a little too much. But now his entire behaviour suddenly makes sense as a struggle about whether to confess or not. If you've done well with any character here, it's the protagonist.
Holly: Well, I like how she puts a lot of faith in Desmond, adding to his dilemma. She plays her part well as defendant/co-council, I guess.
Mona: It's always nice to see a different judge. Though at the end of the day she's still just doing what the regular judge does so far. There's not really a memorable moment with her, but she's consistently entertaining.
Stella: Certainly a good witness. The moment she comes in you just know things are about to get over-the-top and awesome somehow. And that's about all you need to know.
Phoebe: I feel there'll be more about him later. For now he's doing the intimidating prosecutor part well. Though it's not like we've never seen one of these unbeaten prosecutor that hate all attorneys.

Overall I can call them solid. Not outstandingly developed, but good for a trial-only case like this. Though Desmond was still a pleasant surprise.

Presentation:

Excellent. Well, some of it might be v6 making it all seem fresh compared to other cases, but still... we have a different courtroom look and a lot of cool graphics. I didn't find many typos so that gets a pass as well. It seemed very polished overall. I didn't find any visual glitches when I played through it at first, though I then saw some in the easter egg conversations I checked out afterwards. You forgot to hide some sprites here and there, causing co-council and judge to overlap or something. v6 seems to work differently there.
Speaking of, something's not quite right with the password system. It doesn't seem to reveal all the profiles I should have at that point. I couldn't check out all the easter eggs because they didn't give me Desmond's and Stella's profile, for example.
But aside from that, presentation is perfect. The music was also well-chosen and enhanced the atmosphere.

Gameplay:

Actually pretty good. Well, I certainly had my fun, if for unusual reasons. I don't really get why this has multiple difficulty settings. I played on hard expecting a really frustrating experience, but... I made it through the whole case receiving only one penalty. One possible explanation is that because I couldn't save, I actually thought very carefully before attempting anything. All the contradictions seem pretty clear once you see them. The co-council doesn't even seem to shut down completely. Even on hard mode she still gave me a general direction to go for. And "try to think of the simplest possibility to get out of this" was really all I needed. Even the supra present I somehow got right on the first try, though that may have been a little more luck. (I started it without really thinking of what contradiction to go for, but deciding which statements were true or false then reminded me of what might be the problem, and that turned out to be it.)
So yeah, surprisingly enough not frustrating at all, even on hard more. And that's a good thing, because getting that right felt very rewarding. But it does make me question if the different difficulty settings are really needed. I mean, you aparently even get revived (though I get that's more because of v6's lacking save feature.).
I'd rather call this very friendly gameplay thanks to the reliable and concise logic of contradictions, but we'll see how others experience it. I doubt they'll have problems with the two CEs that are pretty much just "press-to-procced".
The second one seemed weirdly placed... I mean, press all to proceed at the very end of a part instead of something challenging? It did serve a good purpose in showing Desmond's slow breakdown with each press, but I still kind of expected a challenge there. Well, it works.
So overall gameplay was good and avoided being too frustrating. I might even say it could be too easy depending on the hints on the other difficulties, but I haven't checked those out... (and I guess "easy" would actually be supposed to be easy anyway.) And while there's nothing groundbreakingly new or innovative about it, there are also no gamebreaking bugs. Approved.

Despair Relevance:

Okay, so this is interesting. You fared fairly average for most of it. The stakes for the protagonist were slightly higher (it's his daughter) and it was always emphasized how hopeless the situation is. I guess Mona might sort of qualify as the obligatory despair-char, maybe it's the prosecutor too. There's a lot of internal struggling going on in Desmond, and that final CE was especially brilliant in how he tries to stay positive while slowly losing hope after each pressed statements. The final line though... Yeah, that suddenly made this so much more theme relevant. The despair before that seemed overdone at times but now it all makes sense. There we suddenly have our impossible dilemma. I like how when I looked back to see the game over conversation things actually seemed even worse than before. So apparently in those he couldn't resolve himself to confess and has to live with it. Yeah, this case was clearly focused on having a lot of theme relevance. Can't say you messed it up. It turned out being indeed incredibly theme relevant.

---

Not sure what to add. This trial does an amazing amount of things right for basically still sticking to the standard trial-only case beginning. Maybe it's v6, maybe it's the backgrounds. Or the enhanced despair. It's probably a mix of all that plus the pretty much perfect presentation. I really want part 2 because that HAS to be where all the even more amazing stuff happens. Because dat ending.
User avatar
Evo
Posts: 1844
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2011 12:30 pm
Spoken languages: Deutsch, English

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Evo »

Spoiler : :
Glad you liked it!
The Most Despair-Inducing Incident in the History of Japanifornia and the setting resulting from it will be explained in part 2.
And yes, the easy mode is very easy because it's made for people like me who can't even play the AA games without a walkthrough. The normal mode is supposed to be standard AA difficulty, except for the randomized co-council conversations.
Also, you forgot Andrew in the characters section.
User avatar
Blackrune
Posts: 3805
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:11 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, German, Japanese
Location: The Submarine

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Blackrune »

Spoiler : enigma and BB's entry HEAVY SPOILERS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK :
Rebirth by Despair
So apparently splitting up the collab didn't put an end to the whole Puzzles and Canon working together thing.
When I saw that I naturally expected a lot of comic relief and fun times. Oh wow... couldn't have been more wrong I guess.
Dat ending... just.... I'm not even... well, let's and go through the individual points.
Plot:
Well, nice job here. You somehow made the change in atmosphere work without breaking character or seeming silly.
There were a lot of surprise moments, especially at the end. You've got a good pace for the investigation parts and it never really feels stuck in place nor rushed. The logic... there were some contradictions that seemed a little forced. I felt there were like 2 other plausible possibilities why the shades were there. You'd think they'd point it out to get away instead of acting like that was decisive. It follows the the fairly normal formula but certainly feels different. Probably because of gameplay decisions, playing as 2 people was never really done like this before. Well, and free time events. Those are apparently the cool thing around here now. Aside from that this really starts out as your average impossible case, except with some Higurashi characters mixed in as well as an increasingly darker tone to it. (Well, I guess the investigation was slightly more awesome than normal)
But yeah, drastic changes midway through, so certainly some innovation. No plotholes (so far at least).
Overall, very good plot. Approved.

Characters:

I'm not sure what to say. I'm also not sure I can ever look at Canon in the same way again. The two protagonists, who you kind of expect to... not really have much to them, are somehow the most-developed. The OCs do their job... well, one OC and Gaines. The others are Higurashi people, though I guess it's SOMEWHAT justified. Still a little random, but it's better than no reason at all. Though I can't say I really care much about them. They manage to do what they're supposed to do, I guess. Not really going beyond that though. Let's see...

Canon: ........Well played ._.
Puzzles: To be fair, I don't remember Puzzles. Not sure I ever even played a case with him, so he was new to me. I guess I kinda liked him, then felt sorry for him while also enjoying all the delicious despair. The inner struggle as well as his exchanges with Canon later on certainly gave him an interesting face. Can't say I would mind seeing more of him. Potential is there.
Hazama: Well written for what he is. Kind of different from how I wrote him... seems a little more cruel and throws around more insults. Well, no way that isn't fitting for him. You know, this might actually be a more accurate depiction of him. He tended to cause despair wherever he went. Sure, he also made sure to do all the taunting and trolling afterwards, but ruining lives like that is actually what he did there on a regular basis. His free time event was probably the best one, too. Didn't really reveal anything new about him, but it's not like that's expected or necessary there.
Rena: ...enigma pls. Well, it's Rena, I guess. Not sure what to say here. Guess it's just the fun thing to do to stick characters from other franchises into your case. But she actually serves a purpose and isn't just a witness that could've replaced by anyone else, so she gets a pass.
Oishi: Well, we have Rena. Why the hell not Oishi? I kind of liked spending time with him. Iunno, the free time event had a very laid-back feel to it. Certainly well-written for what he is.
Gaines: Same old. Didn't expect him to show up, so that was a "woa what" moment. But essentially doing the same as always for now. Though there were some interesting indications which keep me intrigued you might be playing with expectations here. Guess we'll see in the next part.
Ivanna: The only real new OC between a lot of old ones and people from other franchises has kind of a hard time. Well, she does get enough screen time to establish herself, I guess. Free time event actually gives her good development. So that's good. Still, kind of weird decisions, the cast is from all over the place.

So, some good ones. Some that are... like always. And the people you'd least expect it from are the most developed. I guess you get away with it.

Presentation:

Didn't see any typos, so that's the first plus. You have a lot of nice graphics, too. I think I spotted some missing wait timers during screen transitions. Also, typewriter on some CE statements. But mostly fine. Didn't find any other glitches.
Music choices were good. Always seemed appropiate for the atmosphere. So yeah... presentation was good.
Gameplay:
Well, we've got some innovation here. The double attorney system with each having their different means of attack actually worked. Could've made things much worse depending on the dificulty of the CEs, but you kept it reasonable. It's also pretty intuitive, I mean... the first CE can pretty much be called a perfect warm-up CE to figure out how it works. The only one I got stuck and frustrated on was Rena's second CE... but I guess it KIND OF makes sense. I think almost everyone will assume it's not meant that way. Only time I had to use the walkthrough though. It certainly never got boring. I guess the press conversations helped, and having two different approaches to the same statement is nice. At least I found myself always pressing everything twice. The difficulty curve seemed fine, and there were no gamebreaking bugs despite this unusual system. So that's excellent gameplay right there.

Theme Relevance:

Can't deny there's a lot of despair. We have higher stakes than usual. The situation seems fairly hopeless now... I certainly can't see a way out. I always had a weakness for dramatic metaphors, so it was nice to see those here as well. Hope spots are crushed mercilessly while there's a struggle not to panic. It reaches the ultimate despair spot with that ending... there's certainly potential to have even more in the next part. Can only judge what's here at the moment, but it's still pretty good so far.

---

Can't say I expected this to work out as well as it did. Though as with most incompletes, there's still potential for more, and everything up till now was just slowly building up more and more potential. Though I can't say I have any clue how the story will continue from here.
I think I'll scratch the point system.
While it seems to accurately reflect my opinion in each individual category, it doesn't seem to properly do so with the overall ranking. Maybe because all these cases are each trying to be someting completely different so far. How much each category influences the score would have to be adjusted each time. Though it does help with analyzing each category, so maybe I'll keep it just for that but just don't make overall points = rank.
User avatar
enigma
Posts: 3421
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:05 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: miaou
Location: dancecat's heaven
Contact:

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by enigma »

Spoiler : @Rune :
The reason Hazama's FTE is probably the best is mainly because that's, well, the one we put the most effort into. You don't even KNOW how hard it was to make the custom sprites in it. XP

I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Though, I'm more glad that we were able to inflict despair through the use of Glase Canon. That wasn't easy, you know. :april:

As for that ending, well... If you thought that was dark wait until part 3's end. :twisted: Though, I am a little sad that we had to kill off you-know-who. He was such a fun character to write.
User avatar
Blackrune
Posts: 3805
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:11 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, German, Japanese
Location: The Submarine

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Blackrune »

Spoiler : Rtaos Grimm's entry I-It's not like I care if you get spoiled or anything, but you really shouldn't read this :
Stalin's Organ
Apparently not the musical kind of organ. As much as the intro suggested that (well, I guess it counts as some sort of music...), the actual case was about different organs, or lack thereof. Still not sure how exactly Stalin figures into this but I'm sure there's a reason for it. Speaking of the intro, it was misleading in multiple ways. At first I thought that case might in the early 1940s, but I guess the artillery was just a dream. Might've been interesting to see a trial during actual war times, but it's not like the actual setting is particularly less dark. Let's see...

Plot:

Innovative and fresh, no question. I mean, nobody's ever done this setting here except you. So far it was possible to follow most of it, and I didn't see any blatant plotholes. Though there were some really lengthy passages in the beginning. To the point where I wanted them to just finally get more info about the murder at hand. Lots of nice worldbuilding though. Later on we have the opposite. The point where you get to talk to a bunch of witnesses at once seems to just overload the player with too much information. My brain hurt from trying to process all those timelines thrown at me in rapid succession. I guess it's how investigations go though. Overall it felt a bit tedious to follow the plot at times but I guess I can also appreciate all the small details that add to the setting.

Characters:

Well, it's a different world. Considering that, they act in understandable ways. It's actually interesting to observe what's natural for them. They're all a bit on the crazy or corrupt side, but that makes for a fairly entertaining and unique cast. Most of them also felt.... thought out well. Like you didn't just put a character there with a gimmick, but also had kind of a justification for it. They're all fairly predictable after a while, but still interesting to watch. I'll go through them.

Nitro: For someone who was previously just about bombs... there seems to be a bit more to him now. I guess the bit at the end you showed me in advance helped al ot with that. There were certainly signs before that he's a little tired about the whole state of things at times. Not that often though, mostly still about basic desires and war. It's strange how despite all that he still feels pretty human.
Congrieve: Not sure what to think here. A nice assistant. The two made a pretty entertaining team to watch though. I guess the whole not really caring about murder and accusing people for fun and profit is unique in its own way.
Cicero: Heh... I like what you did with him being just a shady boss figure there. Really adds to the atmosphere somehow. And it can never hurt to have someone ranting about human psychology around.
Charon: Well, there were a lot of characters that weren't around for that long. He's still almost one of them, but he stays in mind for adding a little darker feel to the crime scenes somehow.
Amelia: You know, it'd have been nice to see more of a character who for once isn't perfectly fine with the world as it is, so it's a shame she only showed up in one scene.
Eulogy: Now this guy was pretty hilarious again. On his very first line I already thought this ought to be good. And it was. If there's anything that made me laugh in this trial it was either a line from him or a sarcastic remark about him. I guess that's just how it goes when someone who really shouldn't be is that helplessly corrupt.
The Greek: Had some entertaining lines, either references to your first trial or complaining about prejudices. I guess it's interesting to see him here.
Hooks: Bribing the judge, huh? He seems to be trying a lot, I'm intrigued to see just what kind of opponent he'll actually turn out to be.
"Actresses": Too many of them, so none really stand out to me that much. Though they are pretty different, so good job on maintaining variety there. Still have to wonder if it was necessary to have that many of them.
Butcher: Now this is interesting because we learn most stuff about him from other people. He himself seemed like an okay guy at first sight (...relatively speaking. I mean, with that cast, this guy really didn't seem that out of place.) but what you then learn about him suddenly makes you much more wary. It's certainly hard to read if he's really involved or not, so he works very well as a suspect. You just can't be sure what to really think of him.

So overall, while a lot of them are pretty straightforward and predictable, it does feel like there might be more to each of them. And they're all very unique and entertaining. Definitely some above-average cases among them.

Presentation:

Hm... I spotted some typos but nothing major. The hwole different setting is presented quite well, down the the way of speech of people. The sprites for the characters work... the other custom graphics and some edited backgrounds weren't really outstanding quality but managed to do their job. When interrogating the priest the background should've shown up sooner though. Feels weird talking to him on a dark background at first. There were some instances where I wished music would've played. Long passages of silence aren't really that good unless it really fits the atmosphere. There were some interesting music choices... no complaints about those here though. I spotted quite a few four-liners, so the case felt like it could've needed a little more polishing. It didn't break atmosphere though. Well, except when you told me the torture scene wasn't done yet or said "(Statement removed.)". Probably better to just find a way to not have the censored statement at all.

Gameplay:

Mostly investigating and exhausting talk options. It never really felt unreasonable or frustrating, though having to talk to that many people at once got a liiittle tedious. But I never really got stuck. It was fairly easy to see what to examine each time, so no problems there either. The whole thing with objecting to the defense has been done before but is certainly still something that hasn't been done that often, so it felt fresh. And so far at least it seemed reasonably clear what to do each time. Almost too easy, but I figure that was just the warm-up. Having the freedom to accuse or torture people as well as control over that attempted suicide thing at the end add surprisingly much to the feel of the case somehow.
So while not doing anything groundbreaking, gameplay was ok.

Theme Relevance:

This is where I feel the case kind of missed the mark. We have a setting with potential for despair, but it's just not really there (yet?). It's mostly because of the cast. The protagonist seems perfectly fine with the state of things for now. From his perspective most of it is really just another normal day in his life, so the setting kinda doesn't work as intended despair-wise.
You skipped ahead at the end to show something that looks a little more promising... the problem is that the plot didn't really get there yet. Though I guess that does put a new perspective on the whole thing. I guess the stakes are a little higher than usual because he's forced to take the fall after his failure.... there's potential but I guess you didn't quite get to the actual good despair parts.

---

Overall I think you've created a new brand of case with this. It's probably good to have a distinguished style as an author, I think I'd recognize that anywhere and it's memorable. You can share "the dark side of AAO trials" with Zeel, I suppose.
Everyone who likes history references (or all the madness) will be certain to enjoy this. I'm certainly looking forward to how this continues.
I just feel like it didn't quite fit with the competition theme I described in the first post. Well, it probably just didn't get to the parts that would've boosted theme relevance by a lot.

(Also, I didn't answer that question in your PM because I didn't take a closer look until I actually started playing. My apologies. Well, the answer is that you're allowed to continue working on it now that I'm done with it.)
One to go.
User avatar
Rtaos Grimm
Posts: 309
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:56 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Rtaos Grimm »

Blackrune wrote:
Spoiler : Rtaos Grimm's entry I-It's not like I care if you get spoiled or anything, but you really shouldn't read this :
Stalin's Organ
Apparently not the musical kind of organ. As much as the intro suggested that (well, I guess it counts as some sort of music...), the actual case was about different organs, or lack thereof. Still not sure how exactly Stalin figures into this but I'm sure there's a reason for it. Speaking of the intro, it was misleading in multiple ways. At first I thought that case might in the early 1940s, but I guess the artillery was just a dream. Might've been interesting to see a trial during actual war times, but it's not like the actual setting is particularly less dark. Let's see...

Plot:

Innovative and fresh, no question. I mean, nobody's ever done this setting here except you. So far it was possible to follow most of it, and I didn't see any blatant plotholes. Though there were some really lengthy passages in the beginning. To the point where I wanted them to just finally get more info about the murder at hand. Lots of nice worldbuilding though. Later on we have the opposite. The point where you get to talk to a bunch of witnesses at once seems to just overload the player with too much information. My brain hurt from trying to process all those timelines thrown at me in rapid succession. I guess it's how investigations go though. Overall it felt a bit tedious to follow the plot at times but I guess I can also appreciate all the small details that add to the setting.

Characters:

Well, it's a different world. Considering that, they act in understandable ways. It's actually interesting to observe what's natural for them. They're all a bit on the crazy or corrupt side, but that makes for a fairly entertaining and unique cast. Most of them also felt.... thought out well. Like you didn't just put a character there with a gimmick, but also had kind of a justification for it. They're all fairly predictable after a while, but still interesting to watch. I'll go through them.

Nitro: For someone who was previously just about bombs... there seems to be a bit more to him now. I guess the bit at the end you showed me in advance helped al ot with that. There were certainly signs before that he's a little tired about the whole state of things at times. Not that often though, mostly still about basic desires and war. It's strange how despite all that he still feels pretty human.
Congrieve: Not sure what to think here. A nice assistant. The two made a pretty entertaining team to watch though. I guess the whole not really caring about murder and accusing people for fun and profit is unique in its own way.
Cicero: Heh... I like what you did with him being just a shady boss figure there. Really adds to the atmosphere somehow. And it can never hurt to have someone ranting about human psychology around.
Charon: Well, there were a lot of characters that weren't around for that long. He's still almost one of them, but he stays in mind for adding a little darker feel to the crime scenes somehow.
Amelia: You know, it'd have been nice to see more of a character who for once isn't perfectly fine with the world as it is, so it's a shame she only showed up in one scene.
Eulogy: Now this guy was pretty hilarious again. On his very first line I already thought this ought to be good. And it was. If there's anything that made me laugh in this trial it was either a line from him or a sarcastic remark about him. I guess that's just how it goes when someone who really shouldn't be is that helplessly corrupt.
The Greek: Had some entertaining lines, either references to your first trial or complaining about prejudices. I guess it's interesting to see him here.
Hooks: Bribing the judge, huh? He seems to be trying a lot, I'm intrigued to see just what kind of opponent he'll actually turn out to be.
"Actresses": Too many of them, so none really stand out to me that much. Though they are pretty different, so good job on maintaining variety there. Still have to wonder if it was necessary to have that many of them.
Butcher: Now this is interesting because we learn most stuff about him from other people. He himself seemed like an okay guy at first sight (...relatively speaking. I mean, with that cast, this guy really didn't seem that out of place.) but what you then learn about him suddenly makes you much more wary. It's certainly hard to read if he's really involved or not, so he works very well as a suspect. You just can't be sure what to really think of him.

So overall, while a lot of them are pretty straightforward and predictable, it does feel like there might be more to each of them. And they're all very unique and entertaining. Definitely some above-average cases among them.

Presentation:

Hm... I spotted some typos but nothing major. The hwole different setting is presented quite well, down the the way of speech of people. The sprites for the characters work... the other custom graphics and some edited backgrounds weren't really outstanding quality but managed to do their job. When interrogating the priest the background should've shown up sooner though. Feels weird talking to him on a dark background at first. There were some instances where I wished music would've played. Long passages of silence aren't really that good unless it really fits the atmosphere. There were some interesting music choices... no complaints about those here though. I spotted quite a few four-liners, so the case felt like it could've needed a little more polishing. It didn't break atmosphere though. Well, except when you told me the torture scene wasn't done yet or said "(Statement removed.)". Probably better to just find a way to not have the censored statement at all.

Gameplay:

Mostly investigating and exhausting talk options. It never really felt unreasonable or frustrating, though having to talk to that many people at once got a liiittle tedious. But I never really got stuck. It was fairly easy to see what to examine each time, so no problems there either. The whole thing with objecting to the defense has been done before but is certainly still something that hasn't been done that often, so it felt fresh. And so far at least it seemed reasonably clear what to do each time. Almost too easy, but I figure that was just the warm-up. Having the freedom to accuse or torture people as well as control over that attempted suicide thing at the end add surprisingly much to the feel of the case somehow.
So while not doing anything groundbreaking, gameplay was ok.

Theme Relevance:

This is where I feel the case kind of missed the mark. We have a setting with potential for despair, but it's just not really there (yet?). It's mostly because of the cast. The protagonist seems perfectly fine with the state of things for now. From his perspective most of it is really just another normal day in his life, so the setting kinda doesn't work as intended despair-wise.
You skipped ahead at the end to show something that looks a little more promising... the problem is that the plot didn't really get there yet. Though I guess that does put a new perspective on the whole thing. I guess the stakes are a little higher than usual because he's forced to take the fall after his failure.... there's potential but I guess you didn't quite get to the actual good despair parts.

---

Overall I think you've created a new brand of case with this. It's probably good to have a distinguished style as an author, I think I'd recognize that anywhere and it's memorable. You can share "the dark side of AAO trials" with Zeel, I suppose.
Everyone who likes history references (or all the madness) will be certain to enjoy this. I'm certainly looking forward to how this continues.
I just feel like it didn't quite fit with the competition theme I described in the first post. Well, it probably just didn't get to the parts that would've boosted theme relevance by a lot.

(Also, I didn't answer that question in your PM because I didn't take a closer look until I actually started playing. My apologies. Well, the answer is that you're allowed to continue working on it now that I'm done with it.)
One to go.
Excellent, I've been anxious about this. Here's the responses:
Spoiler : :
The title is a play on words, like many things in the case. Let me break it down for you:
Nitro = Explosive, Congrieve = Rocket. Combine them to get an explosive rocket. Katyusha Rocket Launcher trucks were nicknamed Stalin's Organ for the sound they made when firing. The Katyusha was the signature weapon of the USSR and its allies. Also Nitro's first name is Joseph and the West called Stalin: Joseph, but that's a minor point.
Fun Fact: On the subject of signature weapons, America's was napalm. First used against the Japanese in the bombing runs on the mainland.
Also North Korea's signature weapon now is the Katyusha.

A setting during the war has potential with the Blitz with bombing runs everyday and night, but in that scenario you miss all the soldiers who come back from overseas twisted. I've always thought the Cold War was a more tense time with the weaponry available and with the world split basically in two. The Post War Age was a time of mourning followed 30 seconds later by an "imminent threat."

Plot: I thought that's how AAI cases proceeded. Personally I wanted to make this realistic as well as historical, you question everyone in real life. At least you liked the characters enough to pull through it.

Characters:
Amelia: Fun Fact: If people complained too much about the state of things they were labelled a communist. Martin Luther King wanted change and J Edgar Hoover always called him communist.
Eulogy: You can see why I put the religious disclaimers in now.
Actresses: I'll quote Cicero here: "The Rule of Three is everything but if following that is repugnant, it is necessary. Very necessary." There were a couple of reasons to use so many. First of all vice is everything in this world, and what says vice better than "actresses?" I wanted to portray humans in a more realistic light than usual AA. Real people have urges after all. Nitro is basically an old man but he constantly fantasises about young girls (over eighteen) so he has to satisfy his needs somehow. Second, considering where you end up at the end of Canto I it makes sense. It would be disappointing if there wasn't many. Anyway, the main context is "acquiring meat." I'm glad that I maintained variety though, that was my main objective.
Shame you didn't mention Katarina by name. She was mine and Dataman's favourite (ironically her theme mentions Joe's Piano). Oh yeah, disclaimers about women were necessary because equality didn't exist back then. People were mentioning the moral society and trying to be good Christians but the amount of "street performing" was off the charts in London. As I said, it's historical, I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea that I think "that" should be a woman's place.

Presentation: Censored statement was a running joke. Seems to have backfired, I'll remove it.

Theme Relevance: I understand your point, but with the characters featured in this that can't be done. For example: Nitro doesn't fear tense situations or near death experiences because that's what he wants. As you said he's tired of his life. These people revel in despairing situations such as war, but hardly have any empathy to care about anyone other than themselves. I was hoping to convey the feeling of despair through the setting itself, not just because of the Cold War, but because of the corruption and attitudes towards human life. Since this is the past rather than the future, I wanted people to think: "Were our most recent ancestors really like this? The Nazis were defeated by this time, but here they are!"
There were several Nazi references in this: Nitro's interest in "People's Courts." Use of "intensive interrogation techniques." When Cicero mentions what The Judge has said previously.

These people are actually in charge of the law, so to make them so corrupt and so brutal should conjure feelings of: "This is the state of our world... our protectors and rulers are promiscuous, greedy psychopaths... damn..."
Also The Judge is a combination of Rhodes and Roland Freisler. Friesler said during a trial: "We don't need the law here, we can pass sentence without that."

Final Notes: I said this was based on historical events but I've made up some stories. "The Red Winter" mentioned was my invention, it's based on the cold winter of 1947. I doubt there were killing sprees where bodies were hidden in mounds of snow and ice during that time. The organisation of the law here is tailored to AA for gameplay reasons but mainly because I prefer "the Consul system" and using military ranks as police ranks. The part where Cicero mentions Pierrepoint's attitude about capital punishment is fact, though 1940s Cicero didn't exist.

It's a shame that I couldn't get this finished as Canto II was planned to have some despairing moments. But that's my fault, I misjudged the times and kept slacking. But I'm glad you liked it overall. This is technically my second story case so I take pride in this review.
Well I'll get started on the work that needs to be done.

Still waiting on the voice clips, can I be updated on the situation please?
Last edited by Rtaos Grimm on Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Status: Tired and out of it.

Bullet Tooth Tony: "Boris the Blade?
Solomon: "Yeah."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "As in Boris the Question Dodger?"
Solomon: *nods head*
Cousin Avi: "Why do they call him the Question Dodger?"
*pause*
Bullet Tooth Tony: "Because he dodges questions, Avi."

Adapted from the film "Snatch"
Phantom

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Phantom »

Wow that was interesting read, I may want to play your case (if I have time to do a sitting)
User avatar
Rtaos Grimm
Posts: 309
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:56 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Rtaos Grimm »

Proton wrote:Wow that was interesting read, I may want to play your case (if I have time to do a sitting)
I'll try to get it out quickly then. Quite a few people on this thread have been interested in the fact that it's historical, I'll try not to disappoint with making everyone wait for too long.

Rome didn't rise and fall in a day though.
Status: Tired and out of it.

Bullet Tooth Tony: "Boris the Blade?
Solomon: "Yeah."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "As in Boris the Question Dodger?"
Solomon: *nods head*
Cousin Avi: "Why do they call him the Question Dodger?"
*pause*
Bullet Tooth Tony: "Because he dodges questions, Avi."

Adapted from the film "Snatch"
User avatar
Bad Player
Posts: 7228
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 10:53 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: American
Location: Under a bridge

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Bad Player »

I think enigma/BB, kwando/zeta, and evo/whirl should all be disqualified from this comp for failing to include a little circle thing in their showcase thread titles.
User avatar
enigma
Posts: 3421
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:05 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: miaou
Location: dancecat's heaven
Contact:

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by enigma »

Wait! BP! Do I win now?! :awesome:
User avatar
kwando1313
Posts: 7684
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:33 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, Français (un peu), Ancient Belkan
Location: Uminari City

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by kwando1313 »

Yes. You win the prize of losing! Congrats~
Avatar made by Rimuu~

Image

"The Knight of the Iron Hammer, Vita, and the Steel Count, Graf Eisen. There's nothing in this world we can't destroy."
User avatar
Blackrune
Posts: 3805
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:11 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, German, Japanese
Location: The Submarine

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by Blackrune »

And that's all of them.
Spoiler : deHughes' entry Spoilers and stuff :
Our Last Masquerade
...I'm not even sure what to say about that title here. It probably makes sense once I got this case properly interpreted.
This review might be difficult to write... there just seem so many things still in the dark here. But I guess I'll try for what's there.
Plot:
I get what this is trying to be. It's certainly... very demanding. I found it pretty hard to follow, though after playing it a second time there seemed to sort of be a direction in the plot. Just had to sort out the perspective jumps first. I'm not sure what to say about the pace as it was very difficult to tell how much time has passed between transitions, but I think that was partly intentional. It's certainly not like any scene was pointless, in fact I was glad for just about any scene that shed some light on the situation. I can only guess where this is trying to go. Overall I'm not really sure what to think of the plot, I think it might be one of those that you can only really appreciate once they reach their actual conclusion.
Characters:
Alright, so you don't want me to go into these specifically. To be honest I'm not sure how much I could judge each of these at the moment anyway. There were some that left kind of an impression, but for the most part I feel like I don't really know that much about them.(considering the mask theme, I feel like this might be intentional) Dialogues were intriguingly realistic, not really handing us any context for free and involving a lot of nonverbal communication (and dem meaningful periods). Though it was possible to get the basic personality of each and who they were, so no worries, I'm not completely clueless. Well, you don't want me to comment in detail so that's that.

Presentation:

The intro was probably the best in this competition. But I feel like the rest of the presentation is... still missing. I mean, you clearly get bonus points here for trying something unusual. The title being typed out in a texbox at the end of the intro felt off. Pretty sure the actual graphic for it just wasn't done yet. For a while I actually thought the missing music was intentional, though apparently it wasn't. Well, I'll say that playing this without any kind of music felt... very unsettling. It was unique in its own way because I just wanted the silence to stop but I guess it wasn't intentional, and it's probably overall better to add music. No sound effects either, and all effects except the fancy screen fades were just "implied" via things like *flash*. I'm preeeetty sure that just means you haven't added them yet. Though again, with this case I just didn't know what's intentional and what isn't. There were a lot of empty frames between statements which may or may not have been intentional pauses. Profiles were probably supposed to be hidden but weren't.

Gameplay:

....Well, nah. Gameplay CLEARLY wasn't the point here, seeing how it doesn't exist. So neither problems nor praise here.

Theme Relevance:

Felt more like a build-up to despair but doesn't quite reach it. Well, I guess one of the two protagonists(?) kind of doesn't take the deaths that well. The other one still seems to be trying, though near the end(after meeting and getting exposed by that certain character) it looks like he doesn't really know where to go anymore either. So there's some, but it could've definitely been more. I think you said there's more to come in part 2 so it's a shame you didn't get there in time.

---

To sum it up, felt a little incomplete, but has some potential. You went for probably the most drastically different approach from any other trial I've seen. I'm not quite sure if it worked out yet, I think it can depending on where exactly the plot is going. For now it's fairly confusing, though certainly not impossible to follow what's going on. (forcing me to pay attention jeez.) I just have to hope I've interpreted things correctly so far.
User avatar
enigma
Posts: 3421
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:05 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: miaou
Location: dancecat's heaven
Contact:

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by enigma »

Sorry, guys. The comps over. And the winner is...
Spoiler : :
Image
User avatar
NihilisticNinja
Posts: 1012
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:23 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, Latin

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by NihilisticNinja »

I maintain that this blatantly violates deadline rules. Rune Worst Judge.
"With good friends by your side, anything is possible. If you really care for each other, it makes everyone stronger! Then you'll have the will to succeed! The world is filled with painful things, it's sad sometimes, and you won't be able to handle it by yourself. But just know: If there's someone that you love, you'll stay on the right path. And you won't ever give in! As long as you keep that person in your heart, you'll keep getting back up. Understand? That's why a Hero never loses!"
Image
Miki by Hershey's Chocolate Bars.
User avatar
kwando1313
Posts: 7684
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:33 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, Français (un peu), Ancient Belkan
Location: Uminari City

Re: The Most Despair-Inducing Turnabout in the History of AA

Post by kwando1313 »

First Dave, and now kitchens?

Dammit, why do we have to keep losing to these amazing entries? D:
Avatar made by Rimuu~

Image

"The Knight of the Iron Hammer, Vita, and the Steel Count, Graf Eisen. There's nothing in this world we can't destroy."
Locked