[T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

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fanfreak247
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by fanfreak247 »

Personally, I think the first case was okay, but I did have some problems. Perhaps I'm being way too pick but... (I'll complete this after I finish it, gotta sleep...)
Spoiler : :
• The pacing seemed a little fast, and I feel like dialogue could've been written a bit better. For example, how the victim died is the last statement in the first CE?
• I don't really like the music choice. It's this really intense EDM Suspense, and then AAI cross examination music? It just doesn't blend.
• Speaking of that, you play the Suspense theme way too much!!
• How did a small fragile looking 19 year old with no training manage to use a gun, again?
• If the murder is premeditated, why wouldn't the culprit bring a silencer? He's smart enough to smuggle a gun but not enough to buy a silencer when going to murder someone in a public building?
• "With these facts, I feel ready to render my verdict", felt really forced and unnatural.
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by PatBrownGame »

I'm very late, but responses in red!
fanfreak247 wrote:Personally, I think the first case was okay, but I did have some problems. Perhaps I'm being way too pick but... (I'll complete this after I finish it, gotta sleep...)
Spoiler : :
• The pacing seemed a little fast, and I feel like dialogue could've been written a bit better. For example, how the victim died is the last statement in the first CE? I agree that I felt that pacing was a bit quick and my dialogue might've been worded weirdly after looking back on it. Although I don't think it affects it too much I hope.
• I don't really like the music choice. It's this really intense EDM Suspense, and then AAI cross examination music? It just doesn't blend. The music choices were at the time picked to try to match the mood or what's happening in the game, but I can see what you mean by the music not blending, since multiple songs are different styles and genres. I guess it didn't really bother me?
• Speaking of that, you play the Suspense theme way too much!! Maybe a bit TOO much suspense :pearlhappy:
• How did a small fragile looking 19 year old with no training manage to use a gun, again? This never really crossed my mind when planning this honestly, just imagine that he has some experience with firearms because I'm lazy and bad.
• If the murder is premeditated, why wouldn't the culprit bring a silencer? He's smart enough to smuggle a gun but not enough to buy a silencer when going to murder someone in a public building? I believe back in AAI I'm pretty sure a similar scenario occurred and no one heard the murder, committed with a gun, because of the sound proof walls in the courthouse.
• "With these facts, I feel ready to render my verdict", felt really forced and unnatural. Not our Udgey! :judge: ...But in all seriousness I 100 percent agree, looking back, I was trying to make the trial more intense with the judge seemingly about to end it with a guilty verdict, but got carried away, causing it to sound less and less natural sounding.
Feel free to reply if there's anything else you wanna say!
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by PatBrownGame »

Hey guess what?

This isn't dead somehow!

In fact, have some update screenshots for case 2!
Spoiler : :
Image
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by AlanBernard »

I think you did a really good job with Case 1 in terms of its story and testimonies, so I'm looking forward to Case 2 and onwards.
Spoiler : :
Peterson was built up really well (I almost felt like he was going to be the villain of the entire game, given his power/intelligence) and the fight against him was very satisfying/challenging, so I hope that you can do the same with the remaining cases!
EDIT: Sorry about that! I'm really used to talking about cases outside of AAO without spoilers, so this might take a bit of time to get used to.
Last edited by AlanBernard on Tue May 12, 2020 12:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by PatBrownGame »

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Please put any case 1 spoilers in a spoiler tag next time by the way :pearlhappy: !
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by Igniam »

Pretty fun! Feedback below.
Spoiler : Messy notes while playing :
Okay well, this case can't be what it seems on first glance, but there seems to be no other good candidate... besides Katie herself?

Well, the bloodstain cutoff with the floor tiles is partially explained by his body blocking the puddle.

> Because it collaborates with this person's testimony!
"Because it corroborates this person's testimony!"

Flashback scene (about Apollo finding the 1:15 contradiction) has no special effect on it. It should.

Failed a bunch of times on the "still questions left to answer".

> shows missing floor tiles and bloody board used as a weapon
> Cause of death: Blood loss after suffering a gunshot wound to the lower abdomen. Victim lived approximately two minutes after being shot.
Isn't this a contradiction? The bloody board doesn't seem to be mentioned here at all. It would make sense as a "knock him out then shoot"?

The fingerprints... well, duh they had to be wearing gloves but- Oh. Russel's are on the gun!

Okay this seems like it's moving strongly to a Katie did it and James is covering thing...

> Preston Wilson
Yeah don't think I don't see that! And this is one of those guys not even in the profiles.

> The only injury I saw was the gunshot wound.
That seems braindead obvious what the issue is, but I mean, nail wounds are small, right?

NGAAAAAAH! As James turns into Undyne or something.

What? The pistol wasn't found on the scene? (So he may as well have gotten his prints on it that way anyway.) Failed like 8 times on the "you tampered with this too".

> The evidence linking James Russel to the crime scene tampering is...!
...Failed like 2 times but wrangled my way into the crime photo.

I think there were like 20 lines in a row that ended with ellipses...

Of course! People checked the trash but not the box ON THE SCENE.

Hm... still more questions? We got a lot of evidence from that obvious envelope present, but... the tip maybe?

> burn mark he had on his hand
Oh my god I just realized it. Gloves blocked sight.

> Has only the victim's fingerprints.
Holy crap. I love that chain of reasoning.

Are they gonna find the killer by revealing the killer put their own gloves on the victim's corpse? [Future note: I love how accurate this turned out to be several hours later. I still think this is a plothole though because my idea was, if the killer used those gloves, their prints should be on the inside. Otherwise you'd have a gloves-in-gloves situation, but the actual solution implies no, the wearer did not have a second pair.]

Also it seems you can re-present the same evidence in this scene.

Failed 10 more times trying to present profiles. It was Russel himself? Oh, it references 'suddenly open'. Yeah that was sooo clear.

> What evidence shows that opening the doors to reveal the crime scene was pre-planned?
Crap, failed many times on this one, was I bamboozled?

> (The victim was ordered to cooperate in a plan to kill the victim...)
this line lol


> Pistol (proven unrelated to the crime)
CLASSIC!

Really, even after all that, I won't get my penalty bar back?

Justin Luther's reaction now makes me think I should have picked that he was the blackmailer honestly.

Really. Nothing to blackmail him with, I present the pistol and it fails?

Oh.

(At this point I realize the OTHER witness was also in that employee list, whoops.)

I mean, um, isn't it obvious... P has a lot of company power... but how do I say that.

Sad music but then popping a miracle never happen joke, 10/10

> That's how I knew that James left at 1:35 PM.

Oh yeah sure the judge is not surprised by that HE WAS PAID too?

Really, Peterson? AND THAT'S HIS REAL NAME AND HE HASN'T BEEN FOUND YET? (Tempted to make a DSP joke: "He's the guy! I'm watching him twitch!") And why was he in the courtroom?

Mph, the two kids are on opposite sides of the gallery? Is he going to say something in a way that might entangle their statements (if the kids are lying)?

AWW YEAH WAY TO BRING IN THE WINE+JUICE!

Hm, chisel but no prints. And wait, he tried to say James was wearing bloodstained gloves? Nice to know there was no blood on the gun nor the chisel then.

Is it wrong that I see several contradictions with the evidence, but not his own statements?

Damn! Blood on the handle... But I'm surprised there wasn't a 'smudged prints' thing going on that were identifiable as smudges...

Anyway, another contradiction? What now? Is it that he went to the restroom then decided not to?

Okay seriously I tried statement 5 on 6 and 5 on 7, but I gotta do it in reverse?

What the hell, they already found the gloves? Where, in the stupid box that's in evidence for some reason that was a really bad hiding place?

Oh wait. I brought this point up myself. It's on the victim!

> Stupidly stabbing the lifeless corpse, and then removing some floor tiles.
Well, it wasn't *quite* lifeless...

Wasn't there a bloody board? (Well I presented here because every other contention point was really a taunt.)

Piece of *testament*? This guy is religious now?

Holy crap that fakeout with the fail conversation/chisel, but I was confident enough not to save.

HR-2 case file has the pistol.

Okay, wait, we're doing this? Isn't the motive obviously... the yellow envelope? But that doesn't work.

Well the plan, sure.

This bracelet scene was not necessary for me. (Was that Trucy pretending to be Peterson?) I love how I presented the case file first thing and the game was like "noooo".

How come I need to present the photo when the case file also shows the wine?

Alright, finalish testimony. Pistol shot onc- yeah, obvious contradiction.
Spoiler : Ending thoughts and feedback :
It seems like it's incredibly common for me to stop logging things when the story gets to a climax. Well, I'll give my ending thoughts.

Peterson's "actually a good guy" turn was great, I didn't expect it. Well, 'good', he still killed two of his friends. Still, I didn't expect it since he starts off *almost* like you want to believe him, but then lies so obviously in his first testimony. And you managed to sneak a "Trucy related" thing too! Turnabout Detective Girl uses this plot point of 'secret bracelet talking' actually (not really a spoiler, it happens to Apollo in a similar way to this trial).

Criticism:

Saving the game took a lot of time, like 20 seconds, probably due to the large frame count. I haven't made a trial but I wonder if that's why very long cases are split into parts so often.

The contradictions were not bad either - the cross-statement contradictions were a nice surprise, though I don't think I had to use it for the second cross-statement contradiction puzzle (maybe I missed an optional solution?). The only one I really had an issue with was the "which statement from this person has a new meaning" contradiction. That is a far-back memory puzzle that, at the rate I was playing the game (not in one session) was 2 days ago.

As for difficulty, I found it hardest in the middle where it seems to me that there were a ton of entangling plots involving who is blackmailing who. Then felt like I sequence broke the end by instantly catching onto Peterson's influences in the HR-2 file when I read it, unfortunately.

I think Klavier was the only character I felt was the most 'off-character', due to "Herr" being uncapitalized a lot of the time (and it's an abbreviation of "Mr.", so a line like "You've been watching the trial with herr defendants"... means "Mr. Defendants"?), "Fräulein" doesn't have the fancy German dots and no "Achtung", but the character is generally accurate enough. I mentioned that in my notes though. Also, a non-German speaker would probably think the word spoken (with the recurring Ema saying 'fralen') sounds more like "Fualen": https://translate.google.com/#view=home ... C3%A4ulein ? It doesn't sound like it has an "r" to me (non-German speaker, of course).

The Judge also seems more hammed-up than the originals, at least in the beginning, he uses caps a lot more.

It was also a bit artificial to me that everyone's roles kept being brought up or used as a substitute for their names. The silliest line, in my opinion, was "The victim was ordered to cooperate in a plan to kill the victim..." which seems to refer to 2 different victims. This pair of lines, too:
6944 Apollo They are Justin Luther and Joseph Carpenter.
6945 Klavier Wait, the victim and the defense attorney?!
Like literally just restating their roles (but with a reversed order for some reason).

I found it obvious that Justin Luther's sprite is an Edgeworth headswap but I understand there's not much you can do if you don't draw people often. I would rather suggest using that sprite where it looks like he's looking symmetrically unimpressed with his nose up (I hope that's enough of a description), the one Edgeworth doesn't do at all, and use it as the picture in the Profiles instead.

Were the rather long victim survival times in the time of death just random or red herrings? They never came up.

Plot holes?:

* **Why didn't anyone care about the judge being bribed?** Thought this would be a big plot point since it means he could have been bribed for this current trial too. Instead it is mostly ignored.

* **The investigators discovered the gun in the trash, but not the envelope in the box?** Surely investigators would more easily search a box *that was on the scene* rather than go dumpster-diving, at least at first?

* **If the killer's gloves were actually on the corpse, couldn't fingerprint analysis tell from the inside of the gloves?** Of course as far as we know, the 'killer' was not the handler of the gloves, but the point remains.

* **Who the hell is Thomas Peterson?** By this, I mean 2 things: why is he even in the courtroom, why is he not caught? Apparently Phoenix and Edgeworth know his name, and it was his *actual* name, yet they didn't spot this guy and take him in for questioning? He wasn't part of HR-2 (HR-2 Case File never mentioned it) nor the HR-2 Trial Transcript, so why was he authorized to be in there? And he's not an employee either? (Maybe I misread, and Phoenix was actually hunting down "P", but still, once Ethan reported 'Peterson' they should've been on that.) [Future note: Nope I didn't misread. "That name has been on Wright's agenda since one year ago" said Edgeworth to Peterson.]

* **On the blackmail,** I actually think it *could* be realistic if it was limited to the Clarkson company only in some way. I thought "P" was related to the company, anyhow, and that the info of him having blackmail on **all** businessmen is just a deception. However, if Peterson/Logan/Joseph were all being blackmailed by him, and they are as close as friends as it seems, wouldn't someone eventually say, "I can't do this anymore, let's move to another country and change our names/everything"?

I also disagree on a previous commenter that a 19-year-old being able to have a gun is that unrealistic, at least solely on the basis of their age (not their circumstance). And besides it was only fired once, even if they predictably were shocked by the recoil like an amateur would.
Spoiler : Typos :
Klavier's "herr X" are all uncapped, when it's "Herr Judge" in the games.

"You ok?" okay
"Your honor" - "Your Honor"

"Raise an Objection" | "Wait and See" should have no caps on the last words.

> I remember that I left a bit into
> Wilson's cross examination to use
> the restroom, the nearest one next
> to the crime scene.
4 lines. Maybe try this?:

> Um... I left a bit into Wilson's
> cross examination for the restroom,
> the nearest next to the crime scene.

"to our aide" aid

> Can you guys not make it anymore obvious that you have doubts about that?!
"anymore" should be "any more"

> One would think the government would notice all of these companies slashing the wages of these workers, right?
4 lines

> But it's only theory...
a theory

"a connection" double space

"this side of college" the college

> But when I visited James' dorm later that evening... I couldn't help but hear something from outside the door.
4 lines

"canadian" capitalize
"Twenty Five minutes later, James got up and left as well." uncap "Five"

> summery

> I bet you've been watching the entire trial, so you obviously remember who they belong to, right?
4 lines

> If those gloves were found, and the connection that the gloves were used to handle the items was made...
4 lines

> Still did it's job!
its

> tails of fiction
tales

> closet friends
closest friends (?)

> The story of a tragic man who was stubborn enough to become a monster, even when he said he wasn't...
4 lines







---


in evidence:

> Found Crumbled in Wooden Box
crumpled
Also, it seems "crumbled" is consistently used, when "crumpled" is the one you're looking for ("crumbled" is like "the cookie crumbled" or "the building crumbled", "crumpled" is the "messily folded paper" word.)

> Received from Prosecutor Gavin.
should not have a period

> Time of death: September 3rd, between 5:30-6:00 pm.
vs
> Time of death: September 5th, Between 1:15-1:30 PM
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Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by PatBrownGame »

Igniam wrote:Pretty fun! Feedback below.
Spoiler : Messy notes while playing :
Okay well, this case can't be what it seems on first glance, but there seems to be no other good candidate... besides Katie herself?

Well, the bloodstain cutoff with the floor tiles is partially explained by his body blocking the puddle.

> Because it collaborates with this person's testimony!
"Because it corroborates this person's testimony!"

Flashback scene (about Apollo finding the 1:15 contradiction) has no special effect on it. It should.

Failed a bunch of times on the "still questions left to answer".

> shows missing floor tiles and bloody board used as a weapon
> Cause of death: Blood loss after suffering a gunshot wound to the lower abdomen. Victim lived approximately two minutes after being shot.
Isn't this a contradiction? The bloody board doesn't seem to be mentioned here at all. It would make sense as a "knock him out then shoot"?

The fingerprints... well, duh they had to be wearing gloves but- Oh. Russel's are on the gun!

Okay this seems like it's moving strongly to a Katie did it and James is covering thing...

> Preston Wilson
Yeah don't think I don't see that! And this is one of those guys not even in the profiles.

> The only injury I saw was the gunshot wound.
That seems braindead obvious what the issue is, but I mean, nail wounds are small, right?

NGAAAAAAH! As James turns into Undyne or something.

What? The pistol wasn't found on the scene? (So he may as well have gotten his prints on it that way anyway.) Failed like 8 times on the "you tampered with this too".

> The evidence linking James Russel to the crime scene tampering is...!
...Failed like 2 times but wrangled my way into the crime photo.

I think there were like 20 lines in a row that ended with ellipses...

Of course! People checked the trash but not the box ON THE SCENE.

Hm... still more questions? We got a lot of evidence from that obvious envelope present, but... the tip maybe?

> burn mark he had on his hand
Oh my god I just realized it. Gloves blocked sight.

> Has only the victim's fingerprints.
Holy crap. I love that chain of reasoning.

Are they gonna find the killer by revealing the killer put their own gloves on the victim's corpse? [Future note: I love how accurate this turned out to be several hours later. I still think this is a plothole though because my idea was, if the killer used those gloves, their prints should be on the inside. Otherwise you'd have a gloves-in-gloves situation, but the actual solution implies no, the wearer did not have a second pair.]

Also it seems you can re-present the same evidence in this scene.

Failed 10 more times trying to present profiles. It was Russel himself? Oh, it references 'suddenly open'. Yeah that was sooo clear.

> What evidence shows that opening the doors to reveal the crime scene was pre-planned?
Crap, failed many times on this one, was I bamboozled?

> (The victim was ordered to cooperate in a plan to kill the victim...)
this line lol


> Pistol (proven unrelated to the crime)
CLASSIC!

Really, even after all that, I won't get my penalty bar back?

Justin Luther's reaction now makes me think I should have picked that he was the blackmailer honestly.

Really. Nothing to blackmail him with, I present the pistol and it fails?

Oh.

(At this point I realize the OTHER witness was also in that employee list, whoops.)

I mean, um, isn't it obvious... P has a lot of company power... but how do I say that.

Sad music but then popping a miracle never happen joke, 10/10

> That's how I knew that James left at 1:35 PM.

Oh yeah sure the judge is not surprised by that HE WAS PAID too?

Really, Peterson? AND THAT'S HIS REAL NAME AND HE HASN'T BEEN FOUND YET? (Tempted to make a DSP joke: "He's the guy! I'm watching him twitch!") And why was he in the courtroom?

Mph, the two kids are on opposite sides of the gallery? Is he going to say something in a way that might entangle their statements (if the kids are lying)?

AWW YEAH WAY TO BRING IN THE WINE+JUICE!

Hm, chisel but no prints. And wait, he tried to say James was wearing bloodstained gloves? Nice to know there was no blood on the gun nor the chisel then.

Is it wrong that I see several contradictions with the evidence, but not his own statements?

Damn! Blood on the handle... But I'm surprised there wasn't a 'smudged prints' thing going on that were identifiable as smudges...

Anyway, another contradiction? What now? Is it that he went to the restroom then decided not to?

Okay seriously I tried statement 5 on 6 and 5 on 7, but I gotta do it in reverse?

What the hell, they already found the gloves? Where, in the stupid box that's in evidence for some reason that was a really bad hiding place?

Oh wait. I brought this point up myself. It's on the victim!

> Stupidly stabbing the lifeless corpse, and then removing some floor tiles.
Well, it wasn't *quite* lifeless...

Wasn't there a bloody board? (Well I presented here because every other contention point was really a taunt.)

Piece of *testament*? This guy is religious now?

Holy crap that fakeout with the fail conversation/chisel, but I was confident enough not to save.

HR-2 case file has the pistol.

Okay, wait, we're doing this? Isn't the motive obviously... the yellow envelope? But that doesn't work.

Well the plan, sure.

This bracelet scene was not necessary for me. (Was that Trucy pretending to be Peterson?) I love how I presented the case file first thing and the game was like "noooo".

How come I need to present the photo when the case file also shows the wine?

Alright, finalish testimony. Pistol shot onc- yeah, obvious contradiction.
Spoiler : Ending thoughts and feedback :
It seems like it's incredibly common for me to stop logging things when the story gets to a climax. Well, I'll give my ending thoughts.

Peterson's "actually a good guy" turn was great, I didn't expect it. Well, 'good', he still killed two of his friends. Still, I didn't expect it since he starts off *almost* like you want to believe him, but then lies so obviously in his first testimony. And you managed to sneak a "Trucy related" thing too! Turnabout Detective Girl uses this plot point of 'secret bracelet talking' actually (not really a spoiler, it happens to Apollo in a similar way to this trial).

Criticism:

Saving the game took a lot of time, like 20 seconds, probably due to the large frame count. I haven't made a trial but I wonder if that's why very long cases are split into parts so often.

The contradictions were not bad either - the cross-statement contradictions were a nice surprise, though I don't think I had to use it for the second cross-statement contradiction puzzle (maybe I missed an optional solution?). The only one I really had an issue with was the "which statement from this person has a new meaning" contradiction. That is a far-back memory puzzle that, at the rate I was playing the game (not in one session) was 2 days ago.

As for difficulty, I found it hardest in the middle where it seems to me that there were a ton of entangling plots involving who is blackmailing who. Then felt like I sequence broke the end by instantly catching onto Peterson's influences in the HR-2 file when I read it, unfortunately.

I think Klavier was the only character I felt was the most 'off-character', due to "Herr" being uncapitalized a lot of the time (and it's an abbreviation of "Mr.", so a line like "You've been watching the trial with herr defendants"... means "Mr. Defendants"?), "Fräulein" doesn't have the fancy German dots and no "Achtung", but the character is generally accurate enough. I mentioned that in my notes though. Also, a non-German speaker would probably think the word spoken (with the recurring Ema saying 'fralen') sounds more like "Fualen": https://translate.google.com/#view=home ... C3%A4ulein ? It doesn't sound like it has an "r" to me (non-German speaker, of course).

The Judge also seems more hammed-up than the originals, at least in the beginning, he uses caps a lot more.

It was also a bit artificial to me that everyone's roles kept being brought up or used as a substitute for their names. The silliest line, in my opinion, was "The victim was ordered to cooperate in a plan to kill the victim..." which seems to refer to 2 different victims. This pair of lines, too:
6944 Apollo They are Justin Luther and Joseph Carpenter.
6945 Klavier Wait, the victim and the defense attorney?!
Like literally just restating their roles (but with a reversed order for some reason).

I found it obvious that Justin Luther's sprite is an Edgeworth headswap but I understand there's not much you can do if you don't draw people often. I would rather suggest using that sprite where it looks like he's looking symmetrically unimpressed with his nose up (I hope that's enough of a description), the one Edgeworth doesn't do at all, and use it as the picture in the Profiles instead.

Were the rather long victim survival times in the time of death just random or red herrings? They never came up.

Plot holes?:

* **Why didn't anyone care about the judge being bribed?** Thought this would be a big plot point since it means he could have been bribed for this current trial too. Instead it is mostly ignored.

* **The investigators discovered the gun in the trash, but not the envelope in the box?** Surely investigators would more easily search a box *that was on the scene* rather than go dumpster-diving, at least at first?

* **If the killer's gloves were actually on the corpse, couldn't fingerprint analysis tell from the inside of the gloves?** Of course as far as we know, the 'killer' was not the handler of the gloves, but the point remains.

* **Who the hell is Thomas Peterson?** By this, I mean 2 things: why is he even in the courtroom, why is he not caught? Apparently Phoenix and Edgeworth know his name, and it was his *actual* name, yet they didn't spot this guy and take him in for questioning? He wasn't part of HR-2 (HR-2 Case File never mentioned it) nor the HR-2 Trial Transcript, so why was he authorized to be in there? And he's not an employee either? (Maybe I misread, and Phoenix was actually hunting down "P", but still, once Ethan reported 'Peterson' they should've been on that.) [Future note: Nope I didn't misread. "That name has been on Wright's agenda since one year ago" said Edgeworth to Peterson.]

* **On the blackmail,** I actually think it *could* be realistic if it was limited to the Clarkson company only in some way. I thought "P" was related to the company, anyhow, and that the info of him having blackmail on **all** businessmen is just a deception. However, if Peterson/Logan/Joseph were all being blackmailed by him, and they are as close as friends as it seems, wouldn't someone eventually say, "I can't do this anymore, let's move to another country and change our names/everything"?

I also disagree on a previous commenter that a 19-year-old being able to have a gun is that unrealistic, at least solely on the basis of their age (not their circumstance). And besides it was only fired once, even if they predictably were shocked by the recoil like an amateur would.
Spoiler : Typos :
Klavier's "herr X" are all uncapped, when it's "Herr Judge" in the games.

"You ok?" okay
"Your honor" - "Your Honor"

"Raise an Objection" | "Wait and See" should have no caps on the last words.

> I remember that I left a bit into
> Wilson's cross examination to use
> the restroom, the nearest one next
> to the crime scene.
4 lines. Maybe try this?:

> Um... I left a bit into Wilson's
> cross examination for the restroom,
> the nearest next to the crime scene.

"to our aide" aid

> Can you guys not make it anymore obvious that you have doubts about that?!
"anymore" should be "any more"

> One would think the government would notice all of these companies slashing the wages of these workers, right?
4 lines

> But it's only theory...
a theory

"a connection" double space

"this side of college" the college

> But when I visited James' dorm later that evening... I couldn't help but hear something from outside the door.
4 lines

"canadian" capitalize
"Twenty Five minutes later, James got up and left as well." uncap "Five"

> summery

> I bet you've been watching the entire trial, so you obviously remember who they belong to, right?
4 lines

> If those gloves were found, and the connection that the gloves were used to handle the items was made...
4 lines

> Still did it's job!
its

> tails of fiction
tales

> closet friends
closest friends (?)

> The story of a tragic man who was stubborn enough to become a monster, even when he said he wasn't...
4 lines







---


in evidence:

> Found Crumbled in Wooden Box
crumpled
Also, it seems "crumbled" is consistently used, when "crumpled" is the one you're looking for ("crumbled" is like "the cookie crumbled" or "the building crumbled", "crumpled" is the "messily folded paper" word.)

> Received from Prosecutor Gavin.
should not have a period

> Time of death: September 3rd, between 5:30-6:00 pm.
vs
> Time of death: September 5th, Between 1:15-1:30 PM

Thanks for playing and for the feedback! (As well as letting me know about all of the current grammer errors :pearlhappy: :pearlhappy: )

Hopefully Case 2 will be much better than case 1. And one day I'll fix case 1.
User avatar
Diyarhan
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:25 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: Turkish, English

Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by Diyarhan »

Well... I played your case and i liked it.
Spoiler : :
I should say the story was cool. And when i first saw the the killer I was thinking he was a psychopath. The sprite choice for Peterson was good. Case was long in my opinion but being long is not bad. I loved the cross examination because it wasn't too hard to break or too easy. But, i didn't liked scene where Peterson, Trucy and Apollo communicates through bracelet. I didn't liked it. And i didn't liked the music choices. It was so loud. You should change it in your seconds case. Anyway, now i really wonder who is goliath. I hope you continue your series.
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PatBrownGame
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2019 5:18 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: Wherever the nearest subway is.

Re: [T] AA: Pressing For Justice ●○○○ (Case One Complete!)

Post by PatBrownGame »

Diyarhan wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 9:37 am Well... I played your case and i liked it.
Spoiler : :
I should say the story was cool. And when i first saw the the killer I was thinking he was a psychopath. The sprite choice for Peterson was good. Case was long in my opinion but being long is not bad. I loved the cross examination because it wasn't too hard to break or too easy. But, i didn't liked scene where Peterson, Trucy and Apollo communicates through bracelet. I didn't liked it. And i didn't liked the music choices. It was so loud. You should change it in your seconds case. Anyway, now i really wonder who is goliath. I hope you continue your series.
Glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully whenever I finish the second case it'll be MUCH better than the first case since I've learned so much since making it.
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